A few years ago, I had just gotten back from a “vacation” with my husband, our then two year old and four year old and my in-laws*. We’d traveled most of the day before, across the country from Colorado back to Richmond, with several layovers. Don’t get me wrong, we had a wonderful time. We ate delicious food. We hiked. We made memories to last a lifetime and all that shit….but I was exhausted! I was complaining to my friend about how frustrating it was to come home from a “vacation” more tired than I was before I left. (Turns out I was actually pregnant, but that’s a story for another day.) My friend nodded her head wisely and said, “Of course! You weren’t on a vacation. You were on a trip.” The distinction made me laugh and has always stuck with me, usually when I’m preparing to go out of town with my kids. Without further ado, here are the ten ways to tell that you’re not going on a vacation.
Ten Signs You’re Planning For A Trip:
- You are packing for more than one person. Dead giveaway. TRIP.
- You decide against packing anything white, and only pack items you won’t mind getting covered in bodily fluids. No, not the fun kind. EWW. TRIP.
- You search your rental’s site to see if they have a washer/dryer. Yes, you will be doing laundry. SO MUCH TRIP.
- You frantically charge all electronic devices the night before/morning of departure. You WILL NOT survive without them. TRIP.
- You spend way too much time trying to think of what to bring to keep your two year old busy. She spends the drive drawing on everything in sight, including herself with pen. HOW AND WHY?? UGH, TRIP.
- There are stuffed animals and pull-ups in your suitcase where the heels and boob shirts should be. NAWT HAWT. TRIP.
- Your handbag is full of fruit snacks, granola bars, bandaids and an extra shirt, just in case. TRIP.
- In your car, (Probably a damn minivan, Am I right?) you decide it’s smarter to just throw an old sheet on the floor and throw that thing out when you get home. CAR TRIP.
- Your “vacation” playlist contains songs by Alvin and the Chipmunks and The Wiggles. KILL ME NOW. TRIP.
- You have trouble sleeping the night before because you can’t stop feeling like you’ve forgotten something. What you’ve actually forgotten is that Target/Walmart/CVS is EVERYWHERE! Thank you, Corporate Overlords. Oh yeah, TRIP.
Good luck on your trips this summer, people! And please think of me. Think of me kindly. Next week, we will do all of the things and eat all of the things. There will be very little sleeping and it will be damn magical! Peace!
🙂 Erin
* – My mother-in-law, father-in-law and brother-in-law are three of my favorite people on this planet. I am a lucky, lucky girl.
11. If any of your children are you enough to require assistance with basic hygiene… TRIP!
I wish trips didn’t suck so bad but they just do! I have 3 boys (10, 4, and almost 3). We drove to Disney in March and will go back to visit family south of Tampa in a few weeks. The beach every morning and the pool each afternoon sounds like a good idea….but then you factor in the toys, the swimmy vests,the swimmy diapers, the 80 pound cooler full of snacks, the sunscreen, the sand (everywhere!), stressing that naps will be skipped and the day will quickly unravel…I think you get it. Never mind packing a book and a Seagrams for myself. Those have been replaced with shovels and juice boxes. (Sigh) I desperately try not to wish these days away but there is a part of me that looks forward to the days when they can carry their own stuff and entertain themselves. Then I feel guilty for looking forward to that.
Good luck to you on your magical trip! Wear your ears and your smile and soak it all in!
Haha, I completely agree with everything you’re saying!There is just so much stuff!! I also share the feeling of wishing they would just grow up already and then also wanting them to stay little and sweet forever. Good luck on your Tampa “TRIP”!
See!! I got so worked up just thinking about our trip that I misspelled my own name!!!! 😮