Good Morning Ladies,
Are you like me? Do you constantly beat yourself up for not meeting your own impossible expectations? We all really need to cut that out right now! When you become a mother, you don’t turn in your human card and you don’t suddenly stop having needs of your own. It’s about damn time we start giving ourselves the break we deserve! This post is really like a therapy session for me, but I hope it can help all of you beautiful mamas to give the mom guilt a rest!
Today I Am Giving Myself Permission….
- To Take Time For Myself– It took me too long to stop equating going to Body Back or hiring a babysitter to go out to dinner as selfish. I used to only go out for the night after my kids were already asleep. Every parent needs time to themselves and time away from their kids to recharge their batteries. If I don’t take it, I can’t be the mom that my kids deserve.
- To Reach For That Second Cup of Coffee or Alcoholic Beverage- Yes, I may have a slight addiction to caffeine and I may use alcohol to relax after bedtime, but back off! After all, the days are long, but the years are short. At least that’s what every sweet old lady at Target keeps telling me!
- To Say No– I’ve struggled with this my entire life, but it is ok to say no to friends and family when what they’re asking for just won’t work for you. I know it doesn’t feel good to have someone upset with you, but no one has ever died from disappointment. They’ll get over it and you’ll learn to put your own needs first.
- To Have My Own Tantrum– We deal with loads of obnoxious and frustrating things daily with patience and grace, but sometimes we’re having a bad day, we’re sick, it’s “shark week”, etc. and we just can’t take it anymore! You’re allowed to cry, yell, have a timeout outside, whatever you need.
- To Throw Away My Bathroom Scale– I need to do this for my own sanity, and I think you should too. Enough said.
- To Not Clean My House– This is not a, you shouldn’t clean your house because you should be busy playing with your kids, thing. This is a, put the vacuum away and let the dishes sit in the sink while you sit on the couch with a trashy magazine, thing. God knows you deserve a break!
- To Lock the Bathroom Door While I’m Taking a Bath– My kids can live without me for fifteen minutes. Yes kids, you do have two parents who are capable of opening the fridge.
- To Not Send That Thank You Note– If you know me, please never send me another thank you note. I know you are thankful for me and I am thankful for you. I’m always forgetting to send them, especially for my kids’ birthdays, and, when I do remember, they are always late. We can’t be perfect, and that’s ok.
- To Let My Kids Watch Too Much TV– I know this is a hot topic, but sometimes I just have so much to get done and I can’t answer another question about which Pokemon I would want to be. It’s ok to let TV be your babysitter once in a while. I watched a ton of it as a kid and I turned out, debatably, fine!
- To Order Takeout- I love to cook and I do try to serve my kids a vegetable with every meal, but I’m no Gwyneth. My kids eat their fair share of McDonalds and Taco Bell, and they haven’t grown any extra body parts from all of that processed food yet!
- To Go To Bed at 9 pm on Friday With No Shame– I still love a good night out, but sometimes it’s ok to admit that you’re not as young as you used to be and turn in early. Most days I’m exhausted all afternoon, but then have trouble sleeping at night so now, when I get the urge to pass out right after my kids are in bed, I take it.
- To Lose My Temper– Yes, I yell at my kids. I get in bad moods, and I have bad days. I am not a perfect parent, and my kids don’t need me to be.
- To Love My Mom Bod– This has been especially tough as I inch closer to forty. My metabolism has slowed to an almost complete stop and, despite my best efforts, my weight has been creeping up. I’m trying to accept my new body, and, instead of being disappointed or critical, to remember everything that it has accomplished and to be grateful for how healthy it is overall.
- To Bust Out in Spontaneous Song and Dance When My Kids Leave for a Night at Their Grandparents’ House– I love my kids, but that doesn’t mean I have to spend every waking moment with them. It’s ok to be excited and happy to have some time away from them, and it doesn’t make you a bad parent. It just makes you an honest one.
- To Take a Compliment– No more shrugging off compliments! No more, “Yeah, well, anyone can do that.” No more, “This, no, it’s not that special.” Let’s try, “Yes, you’re right. That does look great on me.” or, “Yes, I am awesome at that!” I mean, you don’t need to say that aloud, a simple thank you is great, but you get the point. Stop downplaying compliments! Now is the time to accept that you are awesome and appreciated!
- To Celebrate and Appreciate Myself– Why am I so good at loving and taking care of my family and friends, but horrible at being caring and kind to myself? We all deserve to be cared for and feel special, especially when we put so much time and effort into giving to others. Though it would be nice, I can’t expect someone else to do it for me. I’m working on loving and caring for myself by trying to treat myself the way I treat other people I care about. It’s a work in progress, but I’m getting there!
Just in case it wasn’t clear, I’m also giving YOU permission to do all of these things, and anything else you need to do to keep sane. Not that you need my permission, of course, but you can feel free to blame me if you get any negative feedback while you’re taking care of yourself for a change. In fact, you can even send me the complainer’s phone number. I’ll sort them out! And don’t forget:
♥ Erin