books

I know today is Halloween, but I’m already looking ahead to November, a month when we focus on family, food and, for some of us, on growing ugly mustaches. It’s also a great time to reflect on all of the good things in our lives.

Between all of the daily posts on social media, and the multitude of videos, articles, and books on the subject, it’s easy to feel like gratitude is just another trend, unworthy of your time and attention. This can be especially true if you’re feeling like some of your “friends” on Facebook are using the posts to humbly brag on their own lives and accomplishment (#blessed). However, there are many scientifically proven benefits to practicing gratitude that range from improving sleep to helping build relationships.

Even though I’ve read all of the research and know how helpful it is, I’ve always had a really tough time keeping up with a gratitude journal. It just feels too much like work to me.That’s why I decided to search for other ways to practice gratitude.

Take a look at seven ways to help you feel more grateful and balanced during this stressful, holiday season, without writing a single journal entry.

1.Meditate- Most of us don’t take time in our day to self-reflect. We’re so busy rushing from one task to the next, that we never stop to just be still. I recommend adding at least five minutes of meditation to each day. I love the Insight Timer app, which has dozens of guided meditations on the theme of gratitude. Taking just a few minutes to quiet our overworked brains can be so powerful!

2. Take a Pic- This idea came to me this morning, as I was rushing to take my big kids to school. I was not in a great mood as it was 7 am and I was awake, but when I pulled out of our driveway I saw the an almost full moon in the middle of a beautiful pink and orange sky. The beauty of that moment hit me with a wave of gratitude. If you have trouble coming up with gratitude lists after a long day, take pictures instead. If you can capture some of those grateful moments, it makes reflecting on them much easier.

3. Start a Gratitude Jar– Skip the pressure of the daily journal entry by keeping a gratitude jar this November. Add something to it whenever the mood strikes. Everyone in your family who is old enough to talk can contribute something to the jar. It could also be a way for family members to say thank you for the kind things you do for one another.

4. Play the Grateful Game– This idea, from Teach Beside Me, is another great way for the whole family to practice gratitude. If you played the game Pick Up Sticks as a kid, this is the same concept, except, when you pick up a stick, you have to say something you’re thankful for that matches that colored stick’s category. For example, if you pick up a red stick you have to name a person you’re thankful for, green sticks mean you need to share a food that you’re thankful for, and so on. If you can’t find the game, make your own with colored straws.

5. Have a Gratitude Storytime– These books are a great way to teach kids and adults alike about thankfulness:

• The Thankful Book- by Todd Parr– This fun book shows you that you can be thankful for things both big and small. Kids will love the silly illustrations.
• PAWS and THINK Series: Be Thankful for What You Have- by Miranda Mittleman– See the world through a dog’s eyes in this heartwarming story that teaches kids to appreciate the simple things.
• Thanks for Thanksgiving by Julie Markes– This beautifully illustrated book follows a family discussing all of the things they are thankful for. It includes a space at the back to record your own thankful thoughts.
• The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan– In this memoir, Kaplan spends a year living gratefully and documents the changes this made in her marriage, career and life in general.
• Almost Everything: Notes on Hope by Anne Lamott– In her newest book, Lamott helps readers discover the hope and wisdom within themselves, even at the darkest of times. It came out last week and I just bought it to listen to on Audible. Book club, anyone?

6. Put Gratitude Out Into the World– Instead of just writing about the people you’re thankful for, say thank you to them in a genuine and specific way, give compliments freely when someone does, says or wears something that brings you joy. Don’t keep those thoughts to yourself.

7. Give Back– It’s easy for all of us to be so focused on our own problems that we forget how much we have compared to so many: a place to live, food, water, free public education, etc. It’s especially important for us to teach our children who have luckily never known another way of life outside of their comfy beds, Friday night pizza dinners and screen time.

There is no better way to bring home this lesson than to help others in need:

• Host a holiday party or playdate to benefit Feed More. Here’s a list of their most needed items.
• Volunteer in Feed More’s Community Kitchen and put together healthy meals for hungry children and homebound adults in your own community.
• Organize a fundraiser for refugees.
• Create Giving Bags by filling gallon bags with gloves, socks, hand and foot warmers, water, snacks and dollar bills. Hand them out to homeless men and women in your community.
• Organize a drive for your local hospital: VCU Health is currently looking for chemo care kits, fleece blankets and waiting room kits for both kids and adults. All items should be new, except for books and magazines.

Bonus: My holiday survival advice, take it or leave it:

• If you’re spending too much time stressing this holiday season, it is truly worth it to take five minutes to just be alone with your thoughts. If no one in your family will give you five minutes of peace, like my crazy crew, go take the dog for a walk, hide in your car or lock yourself in the bathroom. They can survive without you!
• If you’re feeling less than and comparing yourself to everyone’s highlight reels on Facebook and Instagram, it’s also worth it to take a social media hiatus over the next few months.
• When it comes to holiday dinners, decor and gift giving, do whatever works best for you and your family, and leave the rest to the Pinterest overachievers. Remember that they are a small 1% of the population with too much time on their hands. We’re too busy being adults with many important things to do!
• Expressing gratitude shouldn’t feel like another chore on your already massive holiday to-do list. It should be something that builds closeness within your family and brings contentment within yourself. If it feels artificial to you, don’t do it.
• When all else fails, there really isn’t much that an enitre bottle of wine, a hot bath and a few hours of Bravo reality TV can’t fix. You’ll either A) forget your troubles, B) fall asleep  C) feel more content with the drama in your own life, and possibly D) all the above. It’s basically fool-proof.

In the spirit of this post, thank you for taking the time to read my writing. Most of the time, like 99.9%, I have no idea what I’m doing, but writing things that may potentially help or entertain others brings me tons of joy.

Good luck this November! If your SO’s are considering celebrating Movember, extra good luck to you. I’ll cross my fingers that they look more Tom Selleck and less Michael Cera!

How YOU doin?

Oh HELL no.

♥ Erin

Reading to my kids has always been one of my favorite things. Snuggled up on the bed or couch under a blanket, staring into their excited faces as I read, that’s a pretty great way to spend an afternoon, even if they do sometimes demand that I read the same book ten times.

While you’re reading (and rereading) that favorite book, did you know that you are also teaching your child early literacy skills:

• Tons of new vocabulary! The more you read to them, the more words they will be exposed to.
• Understanding how books work: how to hold a book, turning pages, print going left to right
• Helping to build motivation, curiosity and memory
• Creating a positive association with learning and reading

Here are 24 of my favorite books for exposing your kids to early literacy, broken down into categories.

ALPHABET

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr. and John Archambault

Touch Think Learn: ABC by Xavier Deneux

ABC Mindful Me by Christiane Engel

ABC For Me: ABC Love by Christiane Engel

NUMBER SENSE

Pete the Cat and his 4 Groovy Buttons by James Dean

How Do Dinosaurs Count to Ten by Jane Yolen and Mark Teague

Little Owl’s 1-2-3 by Divya Srinivasan

Steam Train, Dream Train 1-2-3 by Sherri Duskey Sherri

COLORS

Baby Colors by Rachel Hale

Edible Colors by Jennifer Vogel Bass

Mouse Paint by Ellen Still Walsh

Splatter by Diane Alber

SHAPES

Press here by Herve Tullet

The Shape of Me and Other Stuff: Dr. Seuss’s Surprising Word Book by Dr. Seuss

Walter’s Wonderful Web: A First Book About Shapes by Tim Hopgood

Shape by Shape by Suse MacDonald

BODY KNOWLEDGE

Counting Kisses by Karen Katz

From Head to Toe by Eric Carle

Hello World! My Body by Jill McDonald

Inside Your Outside: All About the Human Body by Tish Rabe

ANIMALS AND ANIMAL SOUNDS

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Bill Martin Jr. and Eric Carle

Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? by Dr. Seuss

My Big Animal Book by Roger Priddy

The Big Red Barn by Margaret Wise Brown

You are your child’s first and most important teacher. You are the one who will give them their first impressions on the importance of learning and expanding their worlds. The books above are all well-loved by my family, but honestly it doesn’t matter what you read. Just read with enthusiasm, do all the silly voices, and make it as fun for you as it is for them. If you can do that, you won’t just be creating memories, but also enthusiastic readers who never stop learning!

♥ Erin

Before I had three children, and the exhaustion that comes along with them, I was an avid reader. These days I can count on one hand the number of books I read in a year. Five pages in, you’ll usually find me passed out, or I may start awake when I drop the book that I was holding onto my face. If I’m going to get through a whole book in less than three months, it’s gotta hold my attention. Here’s a list of eighteen books that do just that.

18 Books You Won’t Want To Put Down:

The Dependents by Katharine Dion– When Gene’s wife of 49 years dies, it’s subtly revealed to him that she wasn’t as happy in the marriage as he thought she was. Why did she seem happiest when vacationing with their best friends Ed and Gayle? What secrets was she keeping? Throughout this beautifully-written and engrossing novel, Gene questions everything he thought he knew about his wife, his family and himself. This is Katherine Dion’s first book, but she writes like a master, answering questions on how to overcome grief and let go of the expectations that we project onto others. It’s so much more than a beach read.

The Word is Murder by Anthony Horowitz– This murder mystery novel is so inventive because Horowitz actually writes himself into it as the loyal sidekick to Detective Inspector Hawthorne. The story begins with a woman walking into a funeral parlor to plan her own funeral. The woman is murdered six hours later. You won’t be able to stop reading this creepy and clever whodunnit.

The Lost Family by Jenna Blum– This heart-breaking book tells the story of Peter, a handsome chef at a Manhattan restaurant in the 1960s. Women from all over town come to his restaurant hoping to peak his interest, but he is consumed by grief over losing his wife and two daughters to Auschwitz. He can’t escape the guilt of surviving when they did not. Eventually he meets someone, falls in love again, and has another daughter, but, as we follow him over the next twenty years, he’s still haunted by memories and pain. Yes, this book will probably make you cry, but you’ll fall in love with the characters and remember them long after you finish reading. Jenna Blum also wrote the wonderful book, Those Who Save Us, another amazing read!

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang– This is an erotic romance with a twist. Stella is a workaholic economist with Asperger’s Syndrome. She’s very successful in her career, but inexperienced and awkward in the love department. Her family is very eager for grandchildren, but Stella doesn’t even know how to French kiss. She decides that the best thing to do is hire some professional help. Enter Michael, an escort earning money to pay his mother’s medical bill. The two form an unlikely partnership that slowly and hilariously morphs into more.

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones– This book, Oprah’s Book Club pick for 2018, is a powerful and important read. Newlyweds Celestial and Roy are two successful professionals excited to settle into their new lives together, but they are soon ripped apart when Roy is arrested for a crime that Celestial knows he didn’t commit. Celestial finds herself hopeless and unsure of what to do. She finds solace in her childhood friend, Andre. After five years, Roy’s conviction is overturned and he returns home to try to rekindle what he had with Celestial, but it isn’t as simple as he thought. This story is full of relatable characters, and important thoughts on race, class and family, a must-read.

What the Eyes Don’t See by Mona Hanna-Attisha– This riveting non-fictional story centers around it’s author, Dr. Mona, a Flint, Michigan pediatrician who proved that Flint’s kids were being exposed to lead in their drinking water, and that the government knew this and intentionally covered it up. She fought her own government to expose that truth to the world. This book reads like a scientific thriller, but every word of it is true. The story of a city coming together to fight for justice and a future for their children is  powerful and moving, and it makes you question what you thought you knew about the good ol’ USA.

Goodbye, Sweet Girl by Kelly Sundberg– Kelly Sundberg has written an incredibly honest and brave memoir about her decade long marriage and how it slowly transformed from a beautiful love story to a horribly abusive horror show. She’s open about her feelings of fear and anger, and also the love and compassion that she still felt for her husband. It’s such an accurate and open portrayal of why people stay in a relationship even when they know it’s slowing killing them. I know this story sounds bleak, but Sundberg writes in a way that lighters the subject somehow, while still touching us with understanding. This is a page-turner that may also have the power to save lives.

The Perfect Mother by Aimee Molloy– This book is utterly unputdownable! The May Mothers, a group of moms whose babies were born in the same month, get together for a moms night out one hot Fourth of July night. While they are out, one of their babies is taken from his crib. The book tells the story of the desperate search to find the him and the secrets revealed and friendships destroyed along the way. Right now it’s being made into a movie starring Kerry Washington.

A Man With One of Those Faces by Caimh McDonnell– This is the first book in a three part series of hysterically funny thrillers. Someone is trying to kill Paul Mulchrone. The first time it was a case of mistaken identity, but the second was no accident. Now, with the help of a nurse who fancies herself an expert detective and a violent rebel cop, he must solve one of the worst crimes that Ireland has ever seen.

The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen–

If you enjoyed Gone Girl and The Girl on the Train, you’ll love this book. I don’t want to give anything away with this one so I’m just going to leave you with this vague, but intriguing description from the book cover itself:

When you read this book, you will make many assumptions.
You will assume you are reading about a jealous ex-wife.
You will assume she is obsessed with her replacement – a beautiful, younger woman who is about to marry the man they both love.

Assume nothing.

Twisted and deliciously chilling, Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen’s The Wife Between Us exposes the secret complexities of an enviable marriage – and the dangerous truths we ignore in the name of love.

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn– In this Hitchcock-esque thriller, Anna Fox, a recluse, living alone in her NYC home, passes time by spying on her neighbors. When a new family moves across the way, Anna sees something that she was not meant to see. What she sees will change her life forever and make her question everything. Nothing is what it appears to be in this twisty and gripping thriller.

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng- Elena Richardson is a rule-follower. Rules keep her family safe and keep order in her world. Enter Mia and her daughter Pearl, tenants that move into a house that the Richardsons own. All of the Richardsons are drawn to the artistic and mysterious mother/daughter. When a family friend of the Richardsons tries to adopt a baby, a battle for custody follows that divides their small town in two, with Elena and Mia at the center and on opposing sides. Elena, angry at the way Mia has upended her orderly life, goes on a mission to find out what secrets the enigmatic woman has been keeping. This obsession will lead to some pretty devastating consequences.

Safekeeping by Jessamyn Hope- In 1994, Adam, a drug-addict from New York, travels to Israel to live on a kibbutz, a community similar to a co-op. Atoning for past sins, he has promised to deliver a sapphire brooch to a woman that his grandfather loved when he lived on the Kibbutz in the 1940s.  The woman proves difficult to find, but on his journey he meets many interesting characters, all hoping for another chance at redemption. This book tells an emotional story of second chances and family history, and reminds us that nothing in life is permanent.

11/22/63 by Stephen King- This futuristic thriller tells the story of Jake Epping, a high school English teacher turned time traveler who goes back in time to the 1950s to try and prevent the Kennedy assassination. It may seem far-fetched, but what follows is an engrossing, heart-pumping page-turner.

Maybe Someday by Colleen Hoover- This modern romance novel tells the story of Sydney, a college student who discovers that her perfect boyfriend has been cheating on her. Soon after she finds herself drawn to her mysterious and passionate neighbor, Ridge. Their sexy and obsessive love affair changes her in ways she never expected. Hoover’s writing style and character development really draws you in and gets you hooked from page one.

Tell Me Lies by Carola Lovering– This tale of obsessive love centers on Lucy and Stephen and alternates between both points of view. Lucy is looking for a fresh start when she travels from the only home she’s ever known on Long Island to her small California college. Stephen is also eager to forget the past and a secret that could ruin his future. Their tale of addicting obsession leads to consequences that are more than they can handle. This witty and dark coming-of-age story is just perfect for a day at the beach.

Think of a Number by John Verdon– When threatening letters show up in people’s mailboxes, those people begin to die. The letters tell the readers to “Think of a number and see how well I know your secrets.” The recipients are shocked when the author of the letters has somehow read their minds correctly. Dave Gurney, a retired, but brilliant cop, is brought in to consult, but as his past rises up to ruin him, he’s not sure he can stop this mysterious and confusing killer. The characters in this book are not like those in your usual crime thrillers. They have depth and a realness you’ll recognize.

Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate- This book is based on the real-life story of Georgia Tann, the director of the Tennessee Children’s Home Society orphanage, who took poor children from their families, under the guise of providing them a better life, and sold them to wealthy parents in Memphis in the 1930’s and 1940’s. When her father doesn’t return right away from taking her mother to the hospital, Rill and her four siblings are taken by the orphanage. Rill fights to keep her brothers and sisters together. The book alternates between 1939 and the present day to Avery, a wealthy and successful South Carolina attorney. When Avery returns home because of her father’s sudden illness, a random encounter leads to questions she can’t answer and feelings she can’t seem to forget. What connects these two characters and how do you get over the feeling that you’re not where you belong.

I hope you all find the time to get in a good read or two this summer. Sometimes a little escape into a good book is exactly what you need.

Happy Reading!

♥ Erin

I don’t know about you, maybe you’re all extremely secure and self-loving, but I tend more toward the critical, self-deprecating school of thinking. After spending the last seven years at home with my kids, I often feel like the least intelligent person in the room. As I inch closer to forty, I step onto the scale and groan aloud over the growing number, and I spend way too much time grimacing in the mirror instead of smiling. My kids are with me all the time. It’s impossible that they’re not picking up on this. In my quiet moments alone, so approximately once a month, it tears me up to think that I’m passing on this lack of self-esteem to them.

I sincerely hope this isn’t an issue for you, but in case it is, here are ten books to teach your kids about the importance of self-esteem, being yourself, etc. while you work on your own self-acceptance.

Giraffes Can’t Dance by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees– With adorable illustrations and rhymes, this book tells the story of Gerald the Giraffe. He was mocked by all of the other animals for his horrible dancing, until he found his own music and basically became Africa’s So You Think You Can Dance Champion. Suck it, haters!

Unloveable by Dan Yaccarino-Alfred the pug is made fun of for his short legs and pug nose until he feels that he must be unloveable. Then he meets another dog who teaches him about friendship and just how lovable he really is. This book is a great intro to self-love for toddlers and preschoolers. Hey, it’s never too early!

It’s Ok to be Different and It’s OK to Make Mistakes by Todd Parr-I LOVE all of Todd Parr’s books. Each one is designed to make kids, and parents, feel good about themselves and the world around them. This is a guy I’d love to grab a beer with.

I Like Me-by Nancy Carlson-This book stars a lovable pig who tells readers all about how much she loves her body and how it moves. I credit this book as being part of the  eason my five year old knows she is hot shit. Right on, piggy! Now, if only I could bottle some of her confidence to save for her teen years.

Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun by Maria Dismondy and Kathy Hiatt–

This book does a good job of teaching a few important lessons. It teaches about the importance of being kind to others, even when they’re not kind in return. It also teaches kids to keep doing what makes them happy, even if other people think they’re strange. I am an odd person with quirky kids, so I embrace this kind of thinking.

Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes-Chrysanthemum has always been proud of her name, but when she starts school she is teased. She wonders if she’d be better off with a “normal” name until she meets her music teacher, Delphineum. I love that this book teaches children that, even when we feel alone, there is often someone else who is going or has gone through the same thing, and that sharing our problems can take some of the load off our own shoulders.

A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon-We celebrate David Shannon’s entire collection in our house, but this thoughtful book is our favorite. Camilla Cream loves lima beans, but never eats them because she desperately wants to fit in.  After listening too much to others and going through many uncomfortable changes, she eventually learns to accept herself. I think the book is a great metaphor for the way we feel when we try to please others instead of ourselves.

Violet the Pilot by Steve Breen– Violet is a young inventor who builds a flying machine and uses it to rescue a boy scout troop in danger. So much of the fiction our kids are exposed to from birth shows male characters saving the poor, defenseless female. F that noise! I like that this book could lead to discussions about gender stereotypes, especially if your kids are like mine and use your weakness for discussing such topics as a way to delay their bedtime.

I Love You, Stinky Face by Lisa McCourt-This is one of my kids’ favorites about a child who asks his mother if she would still love him if he was a series of disgusting and/or terrifying creatures. Of course she would, and she informs him how she’d take care of him in each of the scenarios he creates. After spending much of my day yelling at my kids, I like to try to make sure they understand  that I can dislike their behavior, but always love them. This book does a great job of capturing that sentiment.

The Olivia books by Ian Falconer-These books were one of my son’s earliest obsessions so, not to brag, but I consider myself something of an expert. Olivia the pig is a straight up, take no prisoners, bad-ass character. She is uber-confident and marches to the beat of her own drummer. Basically, she is my role model.

If we could just love ourselves like we love our kids, we’d be golden. I wish you all self-acceptance and the wisdom to teach your children, not just how awesome they are, but how great you are as well. Good night.

🙂 Erin