Failures and Successes

I know today is Halloween, but I’m already looking ahead to November, a month when we focus on family, food and, for some of us, on growing ugly mustaches. It’s also a great time to reflect on all of the good things in our lives.

Between all of the daily posts on social media, and the multitude of videos, articles, and books on the subject, it’s easy to feel like gratitude is just another trend, unworthy of your time and attention. This can be especially true if you’re feeling like some of your “friends” on Facebook are using the posts to humbly brag on their own lives and accomplishment (#blessed). However, there are many scientifically proven benefits to practicing gratitude that range from improving sleep to helping build relationships.

Even though I’ve read all of the research and know how helpful it is, I’ve always had a really tough time keeping up with a gratitude journal. It just feels too much like work to me.That’s why I decided to search for other ways to practice gratitude.

Take a look at seven ways to help you feel more grateful and balanced during this stressful, holiday season, without writing a single journal entry.

1.Meditate- Most of us don’t take time in our day to self-reflect. We’re so busy rushing from one task to the next, that we never stop to just be still. I recommend adding at least five minutes of meditation to each day. I love the Insight Timer app, which has dozens of guided meditations on the theme of gratitude. Taking just a few minutes to quiet our overworked brains can be so powerful!

2. Take a Pic- This idea came to me this morning, as I was rushing to take my big kids to school. I was not in a great mood as it was 7 am and I was awake, but when I pulled out of our driveway I saw the an almost full moon in the middle of a beautiful pink and orange sky. The beauty of that moment hit me with a wave of gratitude. If you have trouble coming up with gratitude lists after a long day, take pictures instead. If you can capture some of those grateful moments, it makes reflecting on them much easier.

3. Start a Gratitude Jar– Skip the pressure of the daily journal entry by keeping a gratitude jar this November. Add something to it whenever the mood strikes. Everyone in your family who is old enough to talk can contribute something to the jar. It could also be a way for family members to say thank you for the kind things you do for one another.

4. Play the Grateful Game– This idea, from Teach Beside Me, is another great way for the whole family to practice gratitude. If you played the game Pick Up Sticks as a kid, this is the same concept, except, when you pick up a stick, you have to say something you’re thankful for that matches that colored stick’s category. For example, if you pick up a red stick you have to name a person you’re thankful for, green sticks mean you need to share a food that you’re thankful for, and so on. If you can’t find the game, make your own with colored straws.

5. Have a Gratitude Storytime– These books are a great way to teach kids and adults alike about thankfulness:

• The Thankful Book- by Todd Parr– This fun book shows you that you can be thankful for things both big and small. Kids will love the silly illustrations.
• PAWS and THINK Series: Be Thankful for What You Have- by Miranda Mittleman– See the world through a dog’s eyes in this heartwarming story that teaches kids to appreciate the simple things.
• Thanks for Thanksgiving by Julie Markes– This beautifully illustrated book follows a family discussing all of the things they are thankful for. It includes a space at the back to record your own thankful thoughts.
• The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan– In this memoir, Kaplan spends a year living gratefully and documents the changes this made in her marriage, career and life in general.
• Almost Everything: Notes on Hope by Anne Lamott– In her newest book, Lamott helps readers discover the hope and wisdom within themselves, even at the darkest of times. It came out last week and I just bought it to listen to on Audible. Book club, anyone?

6. Put Gratitude Out Into the World– Instead of just writing about the people you’re thankful for, say thank you to them in a genuine and specific way, give compliments freely when someone does, says or wears something that brings you joy. Don’t keep those thoughts to yourself.

7. Give Back– It’s easy for all of us to be so focused on our own problems that we forget how much we have compared to so many: a place to live, food, water, free public education, etc. It’s especially important for us to teach our children who have luckily never known another way of life outside of their comfy beds, Friday night pizza dinners and screen time.

There is no better way to bring home this lesson than to help others in need:

• Host a holiday party or playdate to benefit Feed More. Here’s a list of their most needed items.
• Volunteer in Feed More’s Community Kitchen and put together healthy meals for hungry children and homebound adults in your own community.
• Organize a fundraiser for refugees.
• Create Giving Bags by filling gallon bags with gloves, socks, hand and foot warmers, water, snacks and dollar bills. Hand them out to homeless men and women in your community.
• Organize a drive for your local hospital: VCU Health is currently looking for chemo care kits, fleece blankets and waiting room kits for both kids and adults. All items should be new, except for books and magazines.

Bonus: My holiday survival advice, take it or leave it:

• If you’re spending too much time stressing this holiday season, it is truly worth it to take five minutes to just be alone with your thoughts. If no one in your family will give you five minutes of peace, like my crazy crew, go take the dog for a walk, hide in your car or lock yourself in the bathroom. They can survive without you!
• If you’re feeling less than and comparing yourself to everyone’s highlight reels on Facebook and Instagram, it’s also worth it to take a social media hiatus over the next few months.
• When it comes to holiday dinners, decor and gift giving, do whatever works best for you and your family, and leave the rest to the Pinterest overachievers. Remember that they are a small 1% of the population with too much time on their hands. We’re too busy being adults with many important things to do!
• Expressing gratitude shouldn’t feel like another chore on your already massive holiday to-do list. It should be something that builds closeness within your family and brings contentment within yourself. If it feels artificial to you, don’t do it.
• When all else fails, there really isn’t much that an enitre bottle of wine, a hot bath and a few hours of Bravo reality TV can’t fix. You’ll either A) forget your troubles, B) fall asleep  C) feel more content with the drama in your own life, and possibly D) all the above. It’s basically fool-proof.

In the spirit of this post, thank you for taking the time to read my writing. Most of the time, like 99.9%, I have no idea what I’m doing, but writing things that may potentially help or entertain others brings me tons of joy.

Good luck this November! If your SO’s are considering celebrating Movember, extra good luck to you. I’ll cross my fingers that they look more Tom Selleck and less Michael Cera!

How YOU doin?

Oh HELL no.

♥ Erin

Kids are messy, and spills happen, but don’t resign yourself to years of never having nice things. Use our guide to remove stains and keep your carpet, furniture and clothes looking as good as new!

Photo credit: Merry Maids

Crayon–  Click on the link for an in-depth description of how to remove crayon from just about every surface imaginable from How Stuff Works.

• Some quick and easy tips: Try baking soda, non-gel toothpaste or WD-40 on your walls and a toothbrush soaked with white vinegar on clothes.

Marker-

• On surfaces or walls: use hairspray and wipe clean with a paper towel.
• On upholstery or tables: spray the stain with WD-40. Next, cover the stained surface with plastic wrap and let sit for at least 2 hours or overnight. Once it has set, wipe the stain with a few dropped of dish soap and a wet sponge.
• On clothes: Use non-gel toothpaste, working it between your fingers and into the stain. Repeat this process until the stain is gone and then launder as you normally would. Other things to try: Nail polish remover

Pen ink–

On walls or other surfaces:

1. Use a multi-surface cleaner and spray and wipe following label directions.
2. If the stain persists, cover the area with a wet paper towel that has been sprinkled with ammonia.

For ink stains on clothes follow these steps:

1. Spray with hairspray to loosen the stain.
2. Soak in a solution of 1 quart warm water, 1/2 teaspoon dishwashing detergent, and 1 tablespoon white vinegar for 30 minutes.
3. Rinse with water and dry. If the stain is still visible try soaking in rubbing alcohol or ammonia.

Stickers- Use a hairdryer to heat up the sticker and then a credit card to easily scrape it off of your floors or walls. If the sticker still won’t come off you can try an adhesive remover like Goo Gone or Duck Adhesive Remover.

Slime- Whether you’re trying to remove it from carpet or fabric, the first step is:

1. to scrape off any excess slime with a dull knife.
2. For clothing : Next, saturate clothing with vinegar, then rinse off with warm water and wash as usual.
3. For carpet: Pour white vinegar on the slime stain and allow to sit until the slime begins to soften. Wipe with a towel and the stain should come right off.

Playdough- When play dough gets ground into your rug or carpet, don’t despair.

1. Let the dough dry completely for over 24 hours. Try not to step on it while it’s drying and definitely don’t use carpet cleaner, which may turn your carpet the color of the dough.
2. Once it dries, use the brush tool on your vacuum to break up the dough.
3. Vacuum up the residue.

Photo credit: Baby Gaga

Nail polish– Check out the in-depth guide in the link for more info about getting nail polish stains out of anything. I’ve had my girls spill nail polish onto our carpet in multiple spots so that is my main focus here.

To remove from carpet:

1. Scrape as much of the excess as you can without forcing it into the pile.
2. Apply Acetone or Non-Acetone nail polish remover
3. Keep moist and let stand for about 15 minutes, blotting occasionally. Scrape to help loosen the stain.
4. Flush carefully with a dry-cleaning solvent or Afta Cleaning Fluid.
5. Allow to thoroughly dry.

Makeup- To remove common makeup stains like lipstick and foundation from clothes and carpet:

1. Use a foam shaving cream on the stain.
2. Scrub the shaving cream into the stain with a clean toothbrush until the it disappears
3. Wash and dry as usual for clothes and let carpet dry naturally.

Blood- Blood is a notoriously difficult stain to remove. The hemoglobin in it is a binding agent so blood binds to whatever it lands on when exposed to air. The easiest way to remove the blood stain is to work on it as quickly as possible, before it sets.

• On clothing: Rinse with cold water and then blot with a diluted laundry detergent.
• On carpet: Blot with a paper towel, then spray with an ammonia solution. You can also rinse or spray with cold tap water or a safe detergent such as Joy or Dawn.
• For dried in blood stains: soak the area in cool salt water for several hours, rinse well and then soak in ammonia.

* Other household products that can work are salt, baking soda or meat tenderizer, along with cold water. Another strange method is spitting on the blood stain, if it’s your own blood this may surprisingly help.

Medicine stains– My kids don’t always love taking medicine, so it’s not uncommon for it to end being “accidentally” spilled or spit up onto the carpet or their clothes. To remove the sticky and colorful medicine from clothing and carpet:

1. Soak the stains in a solution of white vinegar and rubbing alcohol.
2. Blot the stain with a clean white cloth until the stain is no longer transferring color to the cloth.
3. Then, rinse with cold water.

Bathroom Stains and Smells from Carpet, Mattresses and Furniture– Ugh, been there.

1. If your child poops, pees or vomits on your carpet or furniture, the first thing you need to do is remove any excess fluids or chunks (I cringed writing that, but I gotta keep it real.) .
2. Next, remove any residue with a solution of two cups cold water and one tablespoon of dish soap dabbed into the stain and let dry.
3. If after the stain is gone there is still a remaining smell, put this recipe in a spray bottle and spray onto the stinky spot: 2 cups hydrogen peroxide , 2 tsp baking soda and 2 drops liquid dish soap. Be sure to spot treat on furniture to see if it affects the fabric.

Gum– Ugh, this one is a doozy to remove. Follow the steps below to get gum out of carpet and hair.

• For carpet: Freeze until gum gets hard and then carefully scrape it off of the carpet. Sponge the residue with a cleaning fluid and then apply a spot treater to the area. Cover with a sponge or pad dampened with the dry spotter and let sit until the residue is removed.
• For hair: Creamy peanut butter scrubbed in the affected hair with a toothbrush usually does the trick. The oily stuff lubricates the hair and breaks down the gum.

Oil– To remove grease and oil food stains from clothing:

1. Blot the excess with a paper towel.
2. Cover the stain with baby powder, corn starch or salt to absorb the oil.
3. Remove the absorber you used with a spoon.
4. Work a small amount of dishwashing detergent and water into stain with your thumb. Once the detergent begins to foam up, take an old toothbrush and begin rubbing the stain using circular motions.
5. Wash as usual.

Grass– To remove grass stains from your child’s clothing:

1. Soak the garment in cold water – never use hot water.
2. Dab rubbing alcohol in the stain, rinse in cold water, and then apply a teaspoon of liquid detergent to the stain.
3. Let it sit for 5 minutes and then wash as normal.

Some general tips for stain removal:

1. Treat the stain as soon as humanly possible.
2. Dab the stain gently so as not to further set it in.
3. To remove stubborn stains, try leaving clothes out in the sun. This can often work for stains such as baby poop, grass and even blood.
4. Don’t put clothes or bed linens in the dryer until you are satisfied with the stain removal as drying makes stains extremely hard to remove further. Instead, try running them through the wash again.

Photo credit: A Guide 4 The Kids

Kids are kinda gross and messes happen (As I’m typing this I just noticed an exciting new red crayon stain on my favorite gray sheets.), but now you have the right tools to get rid of even the nastiest stains and smells.

Good Luck!

♥ Erin

Hey All, anyone dealing with the joy and the rapture of excessively picky eaters? My kids were the WORST, but they’re finally all at a point where they are willing to try new things, even if they are green!  I credit following these five food tenets with helping my kids to become more adventurous eaters:

1.) Expose kids to as many foods as you can, with a variety of colors, shapes and textures. Start early!

2.) Let kids try the food off of your plate. My kids often try things they wouldn’t normally try because they see me eating it, and they always want to have whatever I have. This is why I usually wait until they’re in bed to eat dinner. Scavengers and thieves, every last one of them.

3.) Don’t force, but encourage kids to take one taste and only one taste. If they really don’t like it they won’t have to have any more. Often at my house this involves bribery. For example, you can have more potatoes if you try one bite of zucchini.

4.) Get kids excited about being healthy. Take them to the farmer’s market and let them pick out whatever appeals to them. Get them involved in the kitchen.

5.) Set out a few plates of healthy fruits and vegetables just before dinner is ready and create your own vegetable happy hour. You’ll be surprised how kids will eat what is in front of them, especially if they are really hungry.

If you’re still in the weeds and struggling to find ANY foods your kids will eat today, I see you. If you’re pulling your hair out because all of the foods that kid loved last last week are suddenly disgusting to him now, I have your back. I give you the snack deas that worked for my own three picky people, and the hope that it won’t always be like this.

Yogurt tube popsicles– Super simple idea here. Just put one of those yogurt tubes in the freezer for a healthy and satisfying popsicle. These are great for babies who are teething! If you’re into making your own, here’s a link to buy the tubes.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Smoothies– Healthy smoothie recipes are everywhere for a reason. I love that you can pack them full of veggies, protein and healthy fats and they can still have a milkshake flavor and consistency. I love that they can be thrown into a sippy cup for maximum portability. My favorite smoothie secret ingredients are: Vega Protein and Greens tropical protein powder, hemp seeds, mango and spinach mixed with ice, almond milk and greek yogurt. The color turns out neon green and my kids love it!

Yogurt or smoothie bites– I used to make these all the time for my babies, when they were babies. Line a plate with parchment paper and place small dollops of greek yogurt or smoothie onto it and place it in the freezer. When frozen these make delicious and healthy little bites that most kids can’t resist.

Egg cups– Scrambled eggs in a muffin tin have to be up there as one the greatest ideas in history. Make these bad boys ahead and kids can get all the health benefits of an omelet in a minute or less. You can mix and match cheese and veggies as much as you want until you find what your kids will eat. I love all of the variations above from Life Made Sweeter.

Photo credit: Fresh April Flours

Hard-boiled eggs– Believe it or not, my kids love hard-boiled eggs. I always hated them as a kid, but my kids have inspired me to give them another try. I love this recipe for making them in my Instant Pot. There are no pots on the stove and no watched pots to deal with. I usually make a large batch on Sunday and then simply rinse out the pot before reusing it to make a large batch of soup for my lunches that week.

Photo credit: Ambitious Kitchen

Chocolate zucchini muffins– A friend of mine recently made these and they were delicious. I highly recommend making these for breakfast or snack time and then using the leftover zucchini for dinner. Remind your child that the dinner zucchini is the same one from the muffins he or she had earlier. Who knows? It could work.

Homemade Trail Mix in a Muffin Tin– Take some safe foods like cheerios, or pretzels and mix in some newer foods like sunflower seeds, pistachios and dried fruit.

Photo credit: Minimalist Bakerhttps://minimalistbaker.com/banana-bread-granola/

Banana Bread Granola– If I’m being totally honest, this stuff is like crack to me, and I can no longer keep it in my house. The recipe comes from one of my all-time favorite food bloggers, The Minimalist Baker. It’s full of healthy fats and fiber and is a perfect snack for kids, just not for an almost forty year old mom struggling to keep the weight off. 😉

Photo credit: Baby Foodie

Oatmeal cups– Like the egg cups above, I love how portable these are, and that they can be made ahead and customized any way you want.

Photo credit: In The Kids’ Kitchen

Wrap pinwheels– Simply spread your child’s favorite spread on a whole wheat wrap or tortilla and top with their favorite things. Next, roll it up and cut it into bite size circles. My kids favorites are: almond butter, bananas and chia seeds, hummus, cucumber and roasted red peppers and tomato sauce, turkey pepperoni and shredded mozzarella cheese. That last one can be put in the toaster oven for a few minutes for maximum deliciousness.

Photo credit: CD Kitchen

Spinach and Black Bean quesadillas– This can be adjusted to your child’s taste, but the black bean and spinach combo seems to be the favorite at my house. Quesadillas are a great way for kids to get extra veggies because the cheese distracts them!

Soup, there it is– My kids love the healthy soups I make, and I make sure they are always chock full of veggies. Their favorites are my vegan lentil, vegetable barley and Greek lemon chicken.

Photo credit: Healthy Little Foodies

Veggie fritters- I recently made a version of these with some leftover spaghetti squash that I knew wasn’t going to get eaten otherwise. I love that you can really take any leftover veggie that sautés well, throw in an egg and some flour or bread crumbs and you’re good to go. The rainbow fritters above are made with gluten free chickpea flour, and look amazing.

Muffin Tin Dip Spread- On one side of a muffin tin add hummus, greek yogurt, nut butter, etc. and on the other add sliced fruits and veggies like apples, cucumbers, carrot sticks, snap peas. Encourage children to try different food and dip combinations.

Kale chips– My kids and I are all salty food fiends so sprinkle some sea salt on these babies and we are all over them. I love getting one of those giant bags of kale and making two or three batches. They usually don’t make it past day one, I kid you not.

Photo Credit: The Nutrition Adventure

Banana sushi– I love this as a cute snack or dessert idea! I’ve actually never tried this one, but I think I will have to now.

* Remember that babies and toddlers have tiny stomachs and don’t need to eat as much as we do, so any of these snack ideas could also be used to replace another daily meal. Variety is important in your child’s diet, but think of it in terms of weeks and months, not days. If your toddler only wants egg cups today, let them eat all the egg cups! They will try something new tomorrow or the next day, and by then there is a good chance they will hate the egg cups anyway. Isn’t parenthood fun?

Happy healthy eating to you and your munchkins! With a little patience, some cursing under your breath, (ok, a lot of cursing under your breath) and time, I swear you will have your own (sometimes) healthy eaters. Good luck, and God speed to you all!

♥ Erin

Obviously, we all love our kids. They are beautiful, lovable gifts and the sun rises and sets with them and all that. However, they are also serious, all-consuming, time-suckers! If you catch me in the morning, you’ll find a mom full of grand plans and maybe even a sprinkle of energy, but by 3 pm you’ll most likely find a blob, sort of resembling me, being smothered on the couch, still trying to finish her morning coffee. It’s amazing how much such small people can suck all of that motivation right out of you. This is why these hacks are so important. They save us time, energy and sanity, all things that are pretty hard to come by these days. Read on for twenty of my favorites, perfect for parents of young children.

Photo Credit: Infarrantly Creative

1. This genius way to organize measuring tools. I waste so much time looking for the right spoon when I’m cooking/baking, and I’m always needing to google measurement conversions, so this speaks to my soul. I love that it’s all tucked on the inside door of a cabinet. It seems like a pretty straight forward DIY project that even I wouldn’t screw up!

2  This cheap and easy travel bed. Take three pillow cases, sew them together and then stuff them with pillows. Somehow over the years we have amassed a large collection of pillows and their cases so I’m definitely making one or two of these to use for sleepovers. If you can’t sew, like me, you can use Liquid Stitch found here.

Photo Credit: Quilt Keepsake

3. This adorable heirloom quilt! OMG, I’m completely not talented enough to do this, but I had to share the idea. Sew your child’s outgrown baby clothes into a quilt and then save it to give to them when they have their own children. If you love this idea as much as I do, but you flunked Home Ec. too, here’s a link to a quilt company who can make it for you.

Photo credit: Infarrantly Creative

4. This clever board game hack. Frame board games and hang them on the wall as playroom decorations. Put command hooks on the back of the frame to hang sandwich bags with all the game pieces and spinners. I LOVE this idea because we are always losing game pieces. Pick up cheap frames at Dollar Tree or shop the frame sales at Michaels.

Photo credit: Mom Hacks 4 Everyday

5. This idea for keeping track of those mischievous baby socks. Speaking of losing things, it’s been three years since I’ve had a baby, but I still have a collection of tiny socks missing their other half! You don’t have to be like me. You can keep them together by putting them inside a mesh laundry bag whenever you wash them. This also works great for legos or other little toys you find yourself needing to put through the wash.

Photo credit: Alana C. Valentine

6. This way to make sure your child takes all of their medicine. Let’s be honest, with everything going on in our lives right now, how often have you forgotten if you gave your kid their antibiotics for their latest ear infection? Or even worse, miscommunicated with your spouse and ended up double dosing your kid? It happens, but with this easy hack you can keep track of whether or not they’ve had their medicine and also how many days they need to continue to take it.

Photo credit: Princess and the P Baby

7. This idea that makes snack time a breeze. I would say about 50% of the conversations I have with my kids center around them telling me they want a snack and then asking me to recount every single thing we have to eat. How much easier would be if they could just ask, Can I have a snack? and then after I said yes, go to the pantry and choose something from one of the pre-approved snack baskets. Purchase cheap baskets like the ones pictured above at Dollar Tree.

Photo credit: The Not So Perfect Mom

8. This way to make meal and snack time feel like play time. Toddlers love eating food out of ice cube trays or muffin tins. I’m not sure why, but I think something about the novelty and variety appeals to them. It’s a great way to get them to try new, colorful fruits and vegetables.

Photo credit: Melissa Sabra

9. This idea for keeping bibs handy. I don’t know why I never thought of this, because we always have some of those command hooks around our house. Great idea to avoid lost bibs!

10. This genius trick for ridding your home of the herpes of the craft world! Glitter is seriously not welcome in my home. If you’re a kinder, sparklier mom than I, this seems like such a smart and easy way to pick up the glitter pieces that manage to adhere to every surface of your house. Good luck to you!

Photo credit: One Crazy House

11. This easier way to keep little hands clean. Use empty shampoo or soap bottles as faucet extenders. I’ve spent eight years lifting my kids up to help them reach the sink. Believe me, your back will thank you for this hack!

Photo Credit: The Realistic Mama

12. This idea for keeping snacks healthier on the road. Have you ever found yourself starving, but stuck in the car with no food? When I find myself in that situation I usually blink and somehow find a frappuccino or Chick-Fil-A nugget in my hand. How did that happen? Stop hunger from getting the best of your good intentions and keep a basket full of healthy snacks in your car for you and the kids.

Photo credit: Lemon Lime Adventures

13. This creative car cleaning idea, perfect for road trips. Wrap a piece of duct tape, sticky side out, around your hand, and use it to pick up crumbs and other dirt in the car. If your kids are old enough to help, wrap it around their shoes instead. They can have fun getting their wiggles out while helping clean up.

Photo credit: A Life From Scratch

14. This kit that helps you stay prepared for life’s emergencies. I love this clear kit from Courtney at A Life From Scratch. Check out the link above for the what and why of everything she put into it.

Photo credit: We Love Being Moms

Photo credit: Central Coast Teaching Tots

15 & 16. These two awesome uses for hot glue. Use it to stop kids’ shoes from skidding and slipping. Use it to stop up holes in bath toys to prevent mold growth. However you use it, hot glue for the win!

Photo credit: Parkingpalmagnet.com

17. This idea for keeping kids safe in the parking lot. When you are loading groceries, or getting a baby out of the car, sometimes your older child may have a desire to wander. I would usually just yell at my kids to, “Touch the van!!”, but it would be great to give them a specific spot to hold onto. You can use a large car sticker, or buy the stickers pictured above here.

Photo credit: The Paper Mama

18. These safety tips for parents with kids who like to wander off. In the photo above, Chelsey from The Paper Mama, used a marker and New Skin liquid bandage to create a waterproof tattoo on her child. You can use the tattoo to provide easy contact info if your child gets lost in a crowd or to communicate a food allergy on children who aren’t old enough to tell people themselves. When you get home, simply add another layer of New Skin and the tattoo just wipes right off.

Next, before you head out for a day at the beach, amusement park, or any other crowded place, take a family photo. Not only will you have a great photo, but if anyone gets lost, you have a visual of what they look like that day, what they were wearing, etc. So easy, but so smart!

Photo credit: One Creative Housewife

19. This awesome hack for helping toddlers put on their shoes. This is one of my favorites because it is cheap and easy, but it really helps kids figure out their left from their right. This will save you so much time!

20. This sleep tip that promises to help you fall asleep fast. If you’re someone who feels exhausted all day, but has worries keeping them up at night, this 4-7-8 sleep technique from Dr. Andrew Weil is for you. Practice the breathing exercise below twice a day, and within a few weeks you should notice a difference in the time it takes you to go to sleep.

• Exhale completely.
• Inhale for a count of 4.
• Hold your breath for a count of 7.
• Exhale for a count of 8. Repeat for 4 cycles.

Hopefully these hacks can save you some time and perhaps even your sanity! If you can’t get enough parenting hacks, check out Alonzo Lerone’s collection of hilarious hacks from veteran parents who seem to have it all figured out! You’re welcome.

♥ Erin

Parent Hack: Wine. LMFAO. So much truth!

When my youngest daughter, Nora, was 18 months old, I was watching an old video of my other daughter, Violet, from when she was a bit younger than that. She was talking so clearly and suddenly it made me realize that Nora really wasn’t. In fact, she was really only saying a few basic words (mom, uh-oh, no) and had actually stopped saying a word or two that she’d been saying before. Instantly, all of the mom-guilt started kicking in. How had I not noticed sooner? What had I failed to do with Nora that I must have done with my other two kids? But the truth is, every kid is different. Some kids will have delays no matter what you do and no matter how soon you notice. What’s important is what you do once you realize there is a problem.

Here are some red flags to look out for, along with steps to take if you notice a delay.

Language Delay Red Flags

It is important to remember that all children develop at different rates, and seeing just one red flag on this chart reflected in your child does not mean he/she has a language delay. Instead, look at your child as a whole to decide if it’s time to talk to your pediatrician.

Expressive language is the way that someone expresses their needs, wants, and ideas.Expressive language ranges from using eye gaze to look at an object to using full sentences to retell an experience. The following are possible expressive language delay red flags for children under 3 years of age:

• Not cooing by 6 months of age
• Not babbling by 9 months of age
• Not having a first word by 15 months of age
• Not having consistent words by 18 months of age
• Not having two word combinations by 24 months of age
• Not being able to understand your child’s speech at 24 months of age
• Strangers not being able to understand your child’s speech at 36 months of age
• Not showing interest in communicating with others (at any age)

Receptive language is your ability to understand what is going on around you or what is being said to you. It ranges from imitating somebody’s actions to following directions. The following are possible receptive language delay red flags for children under 3 years of age:

• Not turning towards a noise like a rattle or voice by 6 months of age
• Not being able to follow simple one-step directions at 12 months of age (such as “bring me your cup”)
• Not being able to point to one body part by 18 months of age
• Not being able to follow simple two-step directions by 36 months of age (such as “pick up the ball and give it to me”)
• Not responding to simple questions by vocalizing or gesturing yes or no by 12 months of age
• Not understanding common gestures like holding your arms out for a hug (by 12 months of age) or holding up a hand for a high five (by 24 months of age).
• Not responding (with either gestures or vocalizations) to greetings by 12 months of age
• Not able to follow eye gaze or finger pointing when talking about an object by 24 months of age
• Not being able to point to 6 body parts by 30 months of age.

-Taken from the Kid’s Creek Therapy website

Steps To Take If You Notice a Delay:

1. Talk to your child’s pediatrician about your concerns. They can provide a medical diagnosis of expressive or receptive language delay that you can then take to the county. If the pediatrician doesn’t think you have cause for concern, you can still move forward to try to get early intervention, but it’s a little easier with their support.

2. If your child is under 3, call and schedule an evaluation at the Infant and Toddler Connection of VA. If your child is over 3 you’ll need to contact your local school district for a full evaluation.

3. The Infant and Toddler Connection of VA will have two different professionals evaluate your child, through observation and by having you fill out questionnaires, to determine if your child has a significant enough delay to qualify for early intervention.

4. If your child qualifies, you will work with his/her service coordinator to create an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) for your child. The plan includes current information about the child’s skills and both long and short term goals that you have for them.

5. Your child will be matched with a service provider who will come to your house or your child’s daycare for weekly therapy sessions that work around your schedule.

6. After both 6 months and one year of intervention the goals on the IFSP will be reviewed and modified as needed.

7. When your child turns three they will age-out of early intervention and it will be your decision if you want to continue services through your local school district. If you decide that it’s necessary, the process should begin months before your child’s birthday because the school district’s evaluation process is a lot more in depth and can take awhile.

Nora has been receiving services through the Infant and Toddler Connection now for just over a year and we have seen amazing growth! She still has difficulty being understood at times, but her vocabulary has grown from three words to hundreds of words. In fact, her speech therapist, (who is awesome, btw) and I agree that she won’t need to continue services once she turns three because we both know that she won’t qualify this time. She’s just made so much progress!

If you have a child that you’re concerned about, don’t hesitate to talk to his/her doctor and trust your instincts! You know your child better than anyone, and you know when something doesn’t feel right. If you have more questions, please feel free to reach out to me on Facebook or through email at agoodenoughmom@gmail.com and check out the links below.

♥ Erin

Useful Links:

Infant and Toddler Connection of VA- http://www.infantva.org

Henrico County Public Schools-http://henricoschools.us

Hanover County Public Schools- http://www.hcps.us

Chesterfield County Public Schools- http://mychesterfieldschools.com

More Info on Individualized Family Service Plans (IFSPs)

Simplified Language Delay Info

Nursery Rhymes to Help with Early Language Development

Mouth Exercises for Kids with Low Tone

Effective Speech Therapy Activities for Toddlers

Choosing Books for Language Development

Board Books for Children with Speech Delays

How do we teach our kids about racism and prejudice? Other than leading by example, how do we show them to be kind and inclusive to everyone they meet? Reading with your kids, even from a very young age, is a great way to encourage them to ask questions and think about more difficult topics. Here is our list of great books that can help you start the discussion on diversity, prejudice and inclusion, and some advice on how to keep the conversation going.

1. It’s Ok to be Different by Todd Parr– I LOVE all of Todd Parr’s books for their fun illustrations and bold colors, but this one is a great way to show kids that differences are not important and can actually be something for which to be praised and admired.
2. Giraffes Can’t Dance by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees– With adorable illustrations and rhymes, this book tells the story of Gerald the Giraffe. He was mocked by all of the other animals for his horrible dancing, until he found his own music and basically became Africa’s So You Think You Can Dance Champion. I love how this teaches that if kids aren’t included or are made fun of, they should just march to their own beat and change the tune.
3. Why Are People Different Colors?: Big issues for little people about identity and diversity by Chris McCurry and Emma Waddington- Two child psychologists wrote this book to help parents and caregivers teach and explain all kinds of big topics to small children. Such a great idea!
4. We’re Different, We’re the Same by Bobbi Kates– I was still in elementary school when this Sesame Street book was released, but the lessons it teaches about diversity are still important and the characters are the ones we all know and love.
5. Whoever You Are by Mem Fox– Children all over the world right now are laughing, crying and playing, no matter where they are or what they look like. With beautiful illustrations, this book shows just how similar we all really are, and that our differences make us special.
6. Imagine by John Lennon – Jean Jullien used Lennon’s powerful lyrics to create abeautiful picture book. The lyrics are timeless and may lead to some great discussions on how we can make the dreams in the song into reality. You may be surprised by how much young children can grasp these complex ideas.
7. I am Martin Luther King, Jr. by Brad Meltzer– This book does a wonderful job of introducing Martin Luther King to young children. It is part of a series of books called Ordinary People Change the World with other subjects like Albert Einstein, Amelia Earhart and Rosa Parks. What could be a better lesson than teaching kids that with enough perseverance they could change the world? His other similar books, Heroes for my Daughter and Heroes for my Son, are also awesome!
8. Every Color by Erin Either Kono– Though this book is not specifically designed to teach about race, I think it would be a great way to introduce the topic to young learners. All the polar bear in this story sees is white, white, white until he goes exploring with a little girl to discover all the colors in the world. I think it teaches an important lesson: color-blindness is not the answer, recognizing and celebrating our differences and our sameness is where it’s at.
9. Families, Families, Families by Suzanne Lang– The message in this book is, “If you love each other, than you are a family.” When kids see families that look different from theirs, it can be confusing. This book offers a simple explanation for what makes a family.
10. This Day In June by Gayle E. Pittman– This book discusses the fun and unityof  Pride parade. It’s a great way to teach children about the LGBTQ community. It also includes a section at the back for caregivers on how to discuss gender identity and sexual orientation with our children. Regardless of what you personally believe, these are issues that are important for us to discuss in today’s world.

5 Ways to Encourage Understanding of Diversity and Inclusiveness in Children:

1. Take your children to multi-cultural events around the city. Show them the beauty of differences. Let them interact and play with people who look, pray or sound differently from them.
2. Don’t chastise children for pointing out differences. This can make them feel that there is something wrong with the difference and not just impolite to point. Instead, use it as an opportunity to talk about the differences they noticed. Praise children for noticing and then teach them that we are all different, but that those differences are only a part of who we are.
3. Be on the lookout for teachable moments. There are many times in our lives when the topics of diversity and inclusion can come up naturally. With my kids it was whenever we saw a man or woman asking for money on the street. They asked questions that I tried to answer as honestly as I could, and we had a long discussion about homelessness. Sometimes you might hear or see something that is not in line with your values. This is also a great time to discuss what the appropriate action would’ve been.
4. Teach children to use respectful language and avoid using labels, instead calling people by their names whenever possible.
5. Most importantly, model appropriate behavior. Use inclusive language. If you hear a friend make a racist or bigoted joke, say something. When your kids point out differences, acknowledge them and then point out sameness.

Wishing you days full of kindness, tolerance, and extra sleep (a girl can dream, right?) !

♥ Erin

My two year old will soon become a threenager and, holy cannoli, is she feeling it! Maybe it’s a growth spurt. Maybe she’s cutting molars. I have no idea, and she’s not talking. What I do know is that her moods have been changing faster than a hormonal teenager, and just about everything and everyone in her life has the capacity to piss her off. So what’s the best way to deal with a toddler tantrum, and how can you stop them before they become a full-on meltdown?

Keep Kids Full and Rested. The most important thing you can do to avoid tantrums is to make sure your kids are getting enough sleep, eating enough at meal times and avoiding the crash that comes with eating too much sugar. I realize that this is easier said than done. We had a lot of sleep success after talking to Becca Campbell at Little Z’s Sleep Consulting. She also has a blog filled with great tips. For healthy eating ideas for toddlers, I recommend the following books: Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family by Ellyn Satter, and  Raising a Healthy, Happy Eater: A Parent’s Handbook by Nimali Fernando. Also, I’m planning on buying this book, Adventures in Veggieland: Help Your Kids Learn to Love Vegetables with 100 Easy Activities and Recipes by Melanie Potock when it comes out in a few weeks. It looks like so much fun! My favorite toddler eating tip was to fill a muffin tin with all different kinds of healthy snacks (baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, berries, nuts, seeds, granola, etc.) to make eating healthy more fun.

Respect His/Her Feelings– It’s important to make all children feel listened to and understood, even when you may think that they are being ridiculous. Acknowledge their feelings by verbalizing them or by expressing understanding. You can say things like, “You seem mad that you can’t have another cookie. It’s so frustrating when you can’t get what you want.” Depending on the child, you may want to follow up those words with a long hug. The contact and pressure of hugs have been proven to help many kids calm down.

Here are some other great ideas for what to say:

• “You are so mad. You are showing me how much you wanted that candy.” (Source)
• “I’m sorry you’re (state the emotion). When you calm down, I’ll give you a hug and we can talk about what happened.” (Source)
• Use reflection. For example, if his arms are crossed: “Your arms are going like this (cross your arms). Your face looks like this (mirror his facial expression).” He will probably look at you, so take a deep breath. He might unconsciously take a deep breath with you. Then say: “You seem (state the emotion). You were wanting (state the desire).” (Source)
• “I can see you’re really upset. I wish I could help you calm down right now. Here, why don’t you draw a picture that shows me how mad you are?” Replace drawing with any activity you think will be soothing to your kid or will help them redirect their energy to something positive. (Source)
• “I love you no matter what you say, and you’re a good kid. But we need to take a break and then talk about this.” (Source)

Distract and Redirect– Toddler moods are often ships passing in the night. Though they can easily become upset, they are often just as easily all smiles again if you can provide an attractive diversion. Sometimes toddlers are so wrapped up in their tantrums that they need you to help provide them with an “out”. Knowing what activities make your child happy, and using them to your advantage, can stop a tantrum in its tracks.  It could be as simple as pointing out a really cool truck or bringing out a game that you know your toddler loves to play. You know best what will work for your child.

Walk Away– If you’ve already acknowledged your child’s feelings and attempted to redirect them, without success, don’t drive yourself crazy trying to get them to stop. At this point, it’s ok to tell them that you’re going to give them some space while they calm down. Obviously, if you’re out in public or if your child is engaging in aggressive behaviors like kicking, head butting, etc. this doesn’t apply. However, if it’s your average tantrum, sometimes kids just need space and time to get their feelings out. Set a timer for a 2-5 minutes and then try again to offer hugs or to redirect.

Stay Strong. Sometimes tantrums seem to go on for hours, and those little terrors, um, I mean, toddlers, can really wear us down. Yes, it’s important to pick your battles, but once you’ve put your foot down and said no, it’s important that you stick to your word. This not only shows your child that no means no, but it teaches them that they can trust the words that you say.

The Gauntlet: Public Tantrums, Stay Calm and Get Out- If you’ve never been the victim of a public tantrum, believe you me, winter is coming. When my kids lose their shit in public I feel a mix of intense embarrassment and anger. This nasty cocktail makes it nearly impossible for me to keep my cool, but that is what we all need to do. When it’s your turn to be the one everyone is staring at in the Target checkout line, don’t yell, don’t bargain and don’t give in. Just leave your cart full of diapers, wine and clearance finds where it is, grab your child(ren), and silently whisk them off to your car. Everyone will be so impressed that you didn’t go medieval on your kids that they’ll forget all about the tantrum. You are not the first person this has happened to. There will be other parents staring at you, but don’t take those as stares of judgment. They are silent stares of solidarity and the desire to give you a hug and tell you that everything will be ok, but they don’t know you so that would be weird.

Be Proactive: I’m a reader and a planner so reading parenting books has always helped me to feel prepared for all of the parenting surprises coming my way. I haven’t actually been prepared, but at least I’ve felt better in between crises. Here are the books I’ve read over the last eight years that have helped me navigate parenthood:

1. Toddler 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Toddler by Ari Brown and Denise Fields
2. Screamfree Parenting by Hal Runkel
3. Life Will Get Better: Simple Solutions for Parents of Children with Attention, Anxiety, Mood and Behavioral Challenges by Nicole Beurkens
4. No More Meltdowns: Positive Strategies for Managing and Preventing Out-Of-Control Behavior by Jed Baker
5. The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The World Overwhelms Them by Elaine Aron
6. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
7. Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber

And if you just need more proof that you’re not the only one dealing with this crap, check out this book or this blog or this post.  We’ve all been there. Stay strong, and we’ll get through this together!

♥ Erin

Ladies, being a mom can be a thankless and exhausting job.  I don’t know about you, but I sure as shit don’t have the patience or the unlimited energy to live up to the American fantasy of a “good mom”. A good mom makes healthy and nutritious meals for her family and serves them with a smile. A good mom keeps the house clean, does crafts, bakes cookies and still finds the time to drive her husband wild in the bedroom. Good lord, no one can honestly do all of that, day in and day out, at least not without some serious help. On bad days in my house, I keep the kids alive and don’t run down the street screaming, and I consider that a major win.

We all have days when we feel like we’ve got this parenting thing nailed, but there are always the flip-side days, the days when we JUST. CAN’T. EVEN. On those days, be kind to yourself. Ignore that voice in your head, you know the one, the one that says you’re a bad mom and that you’re doing it all wrong. Tell that hussy to shut up! Instead, try one of the strategies below. Pretty soon, the storm will pass and you’ll have discovered new motivation to be, not the best mom, but the best version of yourself that you can be.

(FYI- This is me trying to be the perfect mom all while keeping my cool, being a loving wife, writing stuff people actually want to read, working out, texting people back, drinking enough water, keeping a clean house all while staying sane.)

When You Lose Your Cool

Give yourself a timeout. When you’re feeling like an angry toddler, go ahead and treat yourself like one. Remove yourself from the situation that is making you frustrated for a minute or two. Your kids will be fine without you for a short time, and you’ll have taught them a healthy strategy for dealing with frustration. My go-to time out spot is the garage. While you’re away, take at least ten deep breaths and focus on why you are feeling so angry. Often, it has less to do with your child’s behavior and more with something within you. For example, when my kids don’t listen, it makes me feel unseen and this has always been a trigger for me. You can come back with new knowledge about yourself and maybe a better way to talk to your children about your anger.

Get outside. There’s just something special about getting out into the fresh air. It works wonders on humans of all ages. If you and your children or your spouse are having a rough day, go outside together and do something physical. Toddlers are so easily distracted that a little time having fun with you in the sunshine can really reset the entire day.

Dance it out. My family is all about a dance party. It puts a smile on everyone’s face. We take turns choosing the song and everyone has to dance whether you like the song or not. Spending time with my kids, watching them, without speaking, really puts me back into a place of love and helps the anger and frustration subside. How can you stay angry when you’re watching a two year old dance with abandon?

Try this awesome hair band tip from Kelly at Happy You, Happy Family. I read this last week and it really resonated with me. Reading that it takes five positive interactions to make up for every one negative interaction was heartbreaking. That’s why I think it’s so important to use this visual reminder to speak with kindness and love.

Read these tips from the book, Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham and beautifully summarized by Megan on her blog, The Boho Mama. 

When You Can’t Get Off The Couch

Create Your Top Three Tasks– Every morning, make a list of the top three tasks you need to accomplish that day. When you’re already feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated a twenty-plus item to do list can be incredibly daunting. However, prioritizing just three important tasks a day seems totally doable.

Itemize your to do list- This is my go-to strategy when my to-do list is getting out of control. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the list, I break the list up between the seven days in the week. Once the list is split up, it suddenly seems much more manageable and suddenly I can breathe again.

Start With What’s Easy– When you’re not feeling your best, don’t feel bad about just starting with what’s easy. Sometimes just getting off the couch and getting started is the most challenging part. When you start with one simple task, the others will fall into place.

Start Parenting Yourself– Please watch this TED Talk by Mel Robbins, How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over. It offers some truly life-changing ideas about getting things done and making the most out of your life. The part about parenting yourself really stuck with me. Whether it’s working out, finding a new job or potty training your child, you’re never going to “feel like it”. Use your best mom-voice, kindly tell yourself that it’s time to put on your big girl pants and get moving!

Make a different kind of list– To stay motivated sometimes you need to see what you’ve done. If you’re already feeling like a lazy good for nothing, it’s really easy to give up.  Instead, write a list of all of the positive things you accomplished that day. Be sure to include the basics like,  I took a shower and brushed my teeth. Put everything on there. When you see what you’ve accomplished, you’ll be more likely to stay motivated.

It’s so easy to get into a rut and fall into negative thought patterns, especially during the winter months. This winter has been particularly challenging for me, so I’m right there with you, but it’s almost behind us! Let’s go on a journey of self-discovery this month, just in time for Spring. Let’s forget about the “good mom” stereotypes and figure out what makes us happy, what motivates us, and let’s kick to the curb the things in our lives (fear, shame, negativity, toxic people, etc.) that are getting in the way! We got this!

♥ Erin

Wednesday is a magical day in my house. It is the day that my wonderful in-laws come and take baby N (not a baby, almost 3, but, dammit, my baby) for the day. On Wednesdays I always have a million and a half goals and plans for what I will accomplish in these 5 blissful hours between when they pick her up and when my big kids get off the bus. Of course, things don’t always go as planned.

Today I met my mother-in-law at Target.  I needed some new shirts as most of mine are too small. I’m going to lie to myself and say that it’s because of the new muscles I’ve developed in my arms. (Shut up! It could be true!) She took N to the playground and I walked happily into the store. Two and a half hours later I emerged, bewildered, clutching four large shopping bags and a grande iced vanilla latte. WTF, Target! Yeah, that’s right, I’m taking a lesson from my children, (and our president), and not taking personal responsibility for anything that happened during my visit into that shopping black hole.

Have you seen The Holderness Family’s Video below:

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Anyway, I had a point, and that point is…………..I did not get SHIT done today! My kids will be off the bus in less than an hour and I didn’t:

• Walk the dog.
• Start the three loads of laundry.
• Do my Beachbody On Demand workout (Brazil Butt Lift, if you must know. Nosy.).
• Clean the playroom, childrens’ rooms, bathroom, etc.
• Write anything for my blog other than this post about how I didn’t do anything.

I enjoyed my time in that black hole known as Target immensely, but as soon as I headed home, the guilt starts to set in. I didn’t get anything productive done! This is why I so rarely take these moments to myself. I want to veg in front of the TV or start a good book, but suddenly I remember that I didn’t start that soup that I told my kids they could have for dinner or I forgot to fill out forms and write checks for the after school program that starts next week. There is almost always something to do that I put ahead of making time for me. How can I just sit there and read or take a walk by myself? There is just so much to do! I don’t have the time.

Well, guess what? That is bullshit thinking. That is thinking that will leave you feeling depleted and taken for granted, and the only person you’ll have to blame is yourself. When your husband and kids see that you always drop what you’re doing for them, they start to think of that as the norm. You may feel like by doing this for them you are showing them that you love them, but all that you’re showing them is that you come last. We’ve all heard those sayings, “Put your oxygen mask on first.” or “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” It’s time to take that message seriously.

Follow these steps:

1. Find a hobby that gets you time alone– At my house it’s my gardening. It gets me outside and alone a lot during the spring and summer. I highly recommend it. If you’re not into gardening, try running, blogging, joining a sports team or volunteering.
2. Disappear for at least 10 minutes every day- Meditate, Take a bath, Read, Journal- Do whatever makes you happy for 10 minutes or more and do it alone, away from your spouse and kids. If you are home by yourself, put the kids in front of a movie. You are not allowed to do any chores or productive work during this time!
3. Make plans to do nothing for an hour or more every week– It’s hard to carve out this kind of time as a mom, but it’s important. Talk to your spouse and put it on your calendar. This can be time away from the house or you can have your spouse or sitter take your children somewhere for a few hours and get time in your own house. For me, there is nothing better than being in my own home alone. Oh, beautiful silence, I’ve missed you!
4. Set boundaries– In life your children will need to learn to wait. Start teaching them that lesson now. It’s ok for you to say, “I’m busy right now, but I can help you when I finish my coffee.” or ” I’m talking to a grown-up right now and you need to wait your turn.” When your spouse asks you to run an errand for them, you can say no if  you don’t have the time or don’t think you can get your shit together to even make it out of the house. We’ve all had those days! Let your family know that you are human and you need to be taken care of sometimes too.

You don’t have to be the savior or the superhero of your family. They will still love you if you start taking care of yourself. It doesn’t have to be an either/or scenario. It’s that simple, ladies. Now get out there and do more nothing, by any means necessary!

♥ Erin

PS- Dads, if any of you are reading and feel annoyed that I only addressed moms here, I apologize. Most of the dads I know seem to already grasp the importance of doing nothing. In fact, my own husband is always preaching to me how I should do more nothing around here. If you’re one of those guys who never does nothing, you should start too!

I know, I know, that title seems over-dramatic, but I swear to you, it’s not. I told you about my time at The Mama Retreat. Another of the hosts/founders of the event was Becca Campbell of Little Z’s Sleep Consulting. She gave a workshop on building better sleep and then answered all of our sleep questions.

When I read about this part of the retreat, I honestly didn’t think it would apply to me. My kids are all over 2 and, after almost eight years, I thought I knew a lot about how to get them sleep. I assumed the sleep issues they’d been having were just a phase they were going through and there was nothing my husband and I could do about it. Man, did I have a lot to learn!

Here are the problems we’d been having:

1. My big kids took forever to complete their bedtime routine and needed my husband or I to lay with them until they fell asleep. We started at 7 pm, but often wouldn’t finish until 8:45.
2. They also came into our room any time between 11 pm and 4 am EVERY NIGHT and climbed into bed with us while we were too tired to fight back!
3. Baby N had recently started climbing out of her crib at nap and bedtime. She seemed very fearful of her crib so we started putting her to bed in our bed and then transferring her to the crib when we came up to sleep.
4. She needed pacifiers to get to sleep and we would often lose them.
5. She would also climb out of her crib again in the middle of the night and get into bed with us.
6. I’d spend most of the night with three kids in our bed, all fighting to be as close to me as possible. I am not a snuggler, so to say this wasn’t working would be an understatement.

When I talked to Becca, she told me that with a few tweaks to our bedtime routine, we could have all three kids falling asleep on their own and staying in their own beds all night. I’ll admit, I was very skeptical. However, after one week of consistent practice of Becca’s tips, we are seeing some significant changes!

Since my kids are older, I started by explaining the changes to them and making sure they understood why they were important. I was surprised by how quickly they got on board. Becca used a great analogy to describe the importance of independent sleeping. When you snuggle your kids to sleep, give them a pacifier or any other sleep prop, you are teaching them that you are in the driver’s seat of their sleep bus. When they wake up in the middle of the night and you’re not there, of course they will need you to fall back asleep because you are the driver.

Here are the changes we made to teach our kids how to be in the sleep driver’s seat:

No More Screen Time After 5 PM– We started by removing screen time before bed. In the past, my kids would all watch an hour of television while eating dinner. This would give me time to clean the kitchen, cook something different for my husband and I, write, etc. Now, instead of watching TV, the kids eat quickly and then we go outside together to play. While harmful blue light from screens has been shown to negatively impact sleep, sunlight has proven to do the opposite.

We Cut Out the Paci Cold Turkey– After Becca assured me that it would be harder for us than for Baby N, we took her advice and cut out the pacifier. I rounded up all of the pacis and put them in a gift bag. I told N that we would put them in the mailbox for the new babies at the hospital. She was sad, but she has a serious soft spot for little babies so she kept it together. Since she was a big girl now, I took her to Target to pick out a Cabbage Patch Kid to snuggle with instead. It’s been a week, and there have been zero issues!

We Have Play Time Before Reading– This was the biggest surprise to me. Becca recommended setting a timer for 10-15 minutes and playing with the kids in their rooms before reading to them. She emphasized letting the kids decide what to do during this time. She said it would give them the time with me that they’d been craving without me needing to lay with them for an hour.

We Now Have As Little Light As Possible– My big kids are scared of the dark, but I think they were sleeping with too much light. We let them keep the light on in the hall bathroom instead of the hallway and that dimmed the light considerably.

We Got Rid of the Crib– I was determined to keep N in the crib as long as possible, but Becca told me that it wasn’t really worth it if she could climb out of it like it was a bed. I gave up and got her this toddler bed off of Craigslist.

Our New Bedtime Routine: Without bath, this should ideally be no longer than 30 minutes.

6:30 Bathtime– every other night- Becca recommends using epsom salts like these in the bath. They contain magnesium which is best absorbed through the skin and helps calm the central nervous system and may improve sleep.

7:00 Bedtime Responsibilities– Wash face on non-bath nights to encourage sleep associations, Brush teeth, Put on pajamas, Pick out clothes for school tomorrow

7:05 Playtime together in their rooms-Let them get their energy out and do what THEY want to do.

7:20 Read a book or two

7:30 Goodnight– Put on meditation, (my kids love Insight Timer), hugs, kisses and we leave the room

Other Important Things to Remember:

1. Before Making Changes, Write Down Your Expectations for Kid Sleep– It’s important that you’re clear on what your expectations are and that you and your spouse are on the same page.
2. Kids Don’t Sleep Well When Overtired– Avoid skipping naps and start bedtime before kids get a second wind.
3. Keep Rooms As Quiet and Dark as Possible– White noise and nightlights are okay, just not too loud or too bright. I just bought Baby N this one from Amazon.
4. Have Only Two Stuffed Animals or Lovies in the Bed– Once kids are old enough, after age 1, they often love having friends in their beds with them. If you limit it to two, you’ll save yourself some headaches and your kids some anxiety from having to keep track of more.
5. Make Picture Chart to Clearly Explain Bedtime Expectations- Baby N did well with my verbal explanation, but some kids need a visual to connect. Draw pictures of what they need to do and then have them model this. They can even role play and be the mom or dad helping their stuffed animals get ready for bed.
6. Come Up With a Phrase for Bedtime– This phrase will trigger your kids’ brains to get ready for sleep. It can be as simple as: It’s Bedtime! Just be sure to BE CONSISTENT.

We started following these tips consistently last Monday. Almost immediately, our big kids started going to bed on their own and only came into our room one night, during a thunderstorm. Baby N is going to sleep in her big girl bed with no pacifier and staying put all night. It seriously feels like a miracle! My husband and I have time together before we pass out on the couch, and I’m not getting kicked in the face every night anymore! Try these tips tonight and please let me know how it goes in the comments below. I really believe everyone parent could benefit from these tips.

Good Luck and Get Some Rest!

♥ Erin