It’s almost summer! This is mostly thrilling, especially after the winter and 2nd winter we’ve had, but is anyone else kicking themselves for not sticking to their New Year’s resolutions to eat healthier and workout more? I am no where near where I hoped I’d be with swimsuit season looming, but really, who gives a fuck!? Can we all promise to quit the body shaming this summer and instead focus on our mental health with self-love and self-care?
My June-olutions:
I will praise my body for being healthy and strong enough to give birth, feed and care for my baby. It’s easy to get caught up in what our bodies are not. However, when we spend all our time focusing on losing the baby weight, or just finding our abs again (speaking from personal experience here), we lose sight of everything our bodies have done and continue to do every day. Our bodies have so much more to offer than just perky boobs and a flat stomach.
I will look in the mirror and give myself at least one compliment every day. Doing the opposite is so much easier, I grant you, but why are we doing that crap to ourselves. I know you’re all hot mamas and there has to be at least one thing you like about your bodies. If you’re still having trouble, ask a girl friend because, I assure you, they will have a list of your finest attributes ready to go before you finish asking the question.
I will be more active with my family. Working out seven days a week is a great goal, but it’s not always doable. If instead you resolve to play, to run, to wrestle with your kids, you’ll be working out without even knowing it and having a blast in the process. If you have older kids, try signing up for some fun runs or walks together, start family karate lessons or go ice skating.
I will laugh more. We should all strive for more laughter this year! Let’s laugh more with our kids. Let’s laugh more at ourselves. Let’s see life for the crazy, sometimes painful, sometimes joy-filled, roller coaster ride that it is and just laugh!
I will remove the words, “I’m fine”, from my vocabulary. Sometimes you are just NOT fine! Be honest with your family and, especially, be honest with yourself. Talk to your spouse when you are angry or hurt. When a trusted friend or family member asks how you are and you’re really struggling, by all means, share with them. You’re not a burden to them. They love you and will gladly take time to be there for you. It’s ok to not be ok all of the time.
I will make the invisible visible. The hardest part of motherhood has to be the mental workload. Someone has to remember to schedule the well check-ups, research preschools and remember to pick up a gift for some random two year old’s birthday party. It’s easy to ask your spouse to do the dishes or change the laundry, but all of this other invisible work typically goes unnoticed. The pressure to be on top of everything all of the time is exhausting! Get your spouse in on the invisible work by asking them to pick out that gift or to research and find a good and reliable babysitter. The world doesn’t have to rest on your shoulders!
I will ask for help when I need it. This goes along with the last two, and it is something I struggled with even before having kids. You DO NOT get extra good mom points for doing everything completely on your own. When a friend notices the overwhelmed look on your face and asks if they can keep your kids for a few hours, let them. When the bagger at the grocery store sees you have your hands full and asks if they can walk you out to your car, let them. When you’re sick and can barely get out of bed, ask your husband to come home from work early or call a babysitter. No one can do this job completely alone, so cut the shit and accept the help!
I will be as kind to myself as I expect other people to be to my kids. OMG, I go full Mama Bear when I think someone is being cruel or unfair to my kids! Why, then, do I allow myself to say such horrible things about another person I claim to love, me! If I heard someone calling my kids fat, stupid or useless, there is honestly no telling what I’d do, but I’m guessing it would involve fire.
I will believe that I am enough. Being perfect is not the goal, unless you’re going for being perfectly average, but, honestly, some days I can’t even claim that. We need to remember that, while we struggle to plan the world’s most Pinterest perfect first birthday party or blame our kids’ minor illnesses on our lack of perfect housekeeping skills, our kids eyes are lighting up every time we enter a room. We are not perfect, and they could not love us more!
I will put my oxygen mask on first. This one is all about self-care. I know we all want to be great mothers, wives, daughters, etc., but that simply can’t be accomplished if we are too sleep-deprived, overwhelmed or depressed to function. If you’re not already doing this, please take time out for yourself. Lock yourself in the bathroom and meditate for five minutes. Go to a Moms Night Out and commiserate with other moms who’ve been there. Tell your spouse (Don’t ask!) that you’re going out to Target, and spend an hour mindlessly wandering the aisles. It will help. If that’s not enough, please find a therapist. Ask a mom you trust. You may think you’re the only one struggling and needing therapy, but you are not alone. It’s not a failure to admit that you need more help. In fact, it’s the bravest thing you can do for yourself and for your family.
I hope this summer brings you every happiness and the knowledge that you are strong, worthy and beautiful women that your sons and daughters can look up to.
♥ Erin