Parenting

So, I’ve been at this mom thing for over eight years now, but I still have so much to learn. One of the most important things I have learned, the fact that took me the longest to concede, is that I can’t do it alone. Motherhood is tough! Sometimes I have so many balls in the air, I go to bed with my head spinning, and not just from those two glasses of wine I drank before bedtime. We now have an enormous and varied amount of responsibilities, and we all need help and support sometimes to get it all done, and to not go insane while doing it all.  Remember, it’s not a sign of failure to ask for help. This is something I’ve struggled with for years! Getting help for ourselves and our families is the smartest and strongest thing we can do as mothers!

Here are the local resources that I’ve personally used to simplify, or improve, my mom life. Click on the links below for more details and directions.

Favorite Places to Go With Babies/Toddlers:

• Jumpology – This trampoline arena has a specific time, 9-10 am, just for kids 6 and under.
• Pump It Up– The inflatable play area has Toddler Playtime on select Tuesdays from 10am – 11:30am for only $6.
• Music Together– Parent and Child music classes that come with a CD and song book. Check the link for locations across the Richmond area.
• Melody Magic Music Studio-This music studio on Lauderdale Ave. runs Kindermusik classes, beginner piano lessons and themed playdates.
• Willow Lawn Mommy and Me– Join Willow Lawn on the second Wednesday of EVERY month from 10am to 11:30am for a free morning out with live entertainment and activities designed to enhance parents´ interaction with their children held in The Square at Willow Lawn.
• Cartwheels and Coffee– Children ages six and under can enjoy playing in their enclosed playland while their grown-ups relax in the cafe with a great cup of locally roasted Blanchards coffee. They also have weekly events such as yoga, art and music classes. They even have a separate small play area for babies.
• GABC Music and Movement -This fun music class takes place every Wednesday, 10-10:45, with a separate playspace open 9:30-11 for play before and after class. Classes are inside Grove Avenue Baptist Church and are $5/child and $3/additional siblings.
• Henrico County Public Library Storytime– Storytimes run most mornings, M-Th, and they sometimes have family story times on Saturdays.  Click on the link to get the current story time schedule.
• Romp n’ Roll– My two year old is obsessed with these toddler gymnastics classes. They also offer art and music classes.

Shopping Your Life Easier:

Amazon Prime Now- I’m sure by now most of you know about this two-hour Amazon delivery service open to all prime members, but it’s so life-changing that I’m adding it here, just in case. Did you know they even deliver wine and beer now?! Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love Amazon any more than I already do!

Target–  If Amazon is my boyfriend, then Target is definitely my BFF. Check out all the ways to save:

1. If you haven’t already, stop what you’re doing and sign-up for a Target debit card. It’s not another credit card. You can do this! You’ll save 5% on every thing you buy there, including purchases made at their Starbucks cafes!
2. Download the Target App– They are phasing out their Cartwheel app and making all of those discounts available inside the Target App. Try to look through the available discounts and add them before you leave your house. I usually forget to do this and end up manually scanning each of my cart items to see if any of them are discounted while my kids scream that they’re hungry and want to go home.
3. Check out this post here for more ways to save at Target.

Kroger Clicklist- I’ve been using this online shopping program for the past 6 months. It is amazing to get my shopping done in front of the TV and then pick it up without having to get any kids out of the car! I also save money because I’m not making impulse purchases or giving in to the whims of my tiny dictators while shopping. Don’t forget to add digital coupons onto your card before you checkout.

Walmart Savings Catcher– You can use this app to scan your Walmart receipts. If you’ve purchased something that they find cheaper somewhere else, they will refund you the difference. Find more specific details here.

Keeping Kids Healthy Through Every Stage:

• KidMed– This urgent care, designed especially for kids, has been a godsend for us many times. (Like the time my then 20 month old son climbed over the baby gate and fell down 12 stairs at 5 pm on a Friday!!) With 4 locations, they are very convenient. Hours are M-F, 2-10 pm and Weekends, 10 am-9 pm.
• Dental resource guide-This was created by River Run Dental. My entire family sees these dentists, and the hygienists are great with my kids. There are many other pediatric dentists offices in Richmond, (Check out those voted Best in Richmond here.), but this works best for us.
• Family therapy–Partners in Parenting– This is an outstanding office that works with not only children, but also their parents to teach them strategies to help their kids cope with difficult stages and situations.
• Speech/OT/PT Services

1. Speech/Language Providers– Here’s a list of local speech providers. My family has personal experience working with Maria Zanetti, and she does amazing things for kids with speech and language processing disorders.
2. Infant and Toddler Connection of Virginia– This is the place to contact if you’re having concerns with your toddler’s speech development. It is a several step process, and they will first have you come in for a screening. We went through the process in the Spring, so feel free to message me with any questions.
3. Prana OT- We have personal experience working with both of the occupational therapists in this office and recommend them highly for children with motor development and sensory processing issues.

• Pediatric and Adolescent Health Partners– This site has a great collection of health links and resources.

Great Websites For Local Resources:

Richmondmom.com– If you’re not visiting this site regularly, you need to start. It has resources and local info for basically every area of parenthood. Some of my personal favorites are:

• Kid-friendly Restaurant Resource
• Drop-in Child Care Resources
• Kids Eat Free Richmond
• Summer Camp Guide
• Support Groups for Parents Resource

These three sites also provide great local resources for parents, and update frequently to share kid-friendly events around town:

Completelykidsrichmond.com

MacaroniKid.com

Hula Frog.com

My Current Favorite Mom/Food Blogs:

Modern Parents, Messy Kids Blog– This site has a lot of great ideas to keep you and your family organized and parenting tips to keep you sane.

30 Handmade Days Blog– So many good finds here! Printables to keep you organized, Mom-tested experiments to try, craft projects you can actually make without pulling your hair out. Seriously awesome stuff!

Momastery.com– Glennon Doyle Melton is the author here,  and I love her. I feel like she says all of the things I want to say, but can’t put into words. Her honest advice on motherhood and self-love is very powerful.

Damndelicious.net– I initially started visiting this blog to make her awesome quinoa chili, but kept coming back for all of the easy, tasty recipes.

Thugkitchen.com– This site has a tri-fecta of some of my favorite things- 1) Amazing, easy vegan recipes 2) A large side of snark and 3) Enough cursing to make a sailor blush. #winning

Minimalistbaker.com– You can find quick, healthy meals here with 10 ingredients or less. My favorites I’ve personally tried are her banana bread granola and the crispy peanut tofu and cauliflower rice stir-fry.

Halfbakedharvest.com– Come check out Tieghan’s amazing and beautiful food that is surprisingly easy to make.

Now that I’ve completely overloaded you with information, I want to leave you with this: Forget all that bullshit about the mom who can do it all and who has it all together. She is a myth! Behind that well-polished facade and gleamingly perfect Instagram profile, she is probably a hot mess, or, at the very least, struggling just like the rest of us. Stop comparing yourself to people you don’t actually know.

We all have days we feel like we have this mom thing down and others when we feel like total failures who are strongly considering hiding under the bed with a jar of Nutella and never coming out! Even on your worst days, you are a good mom. Repeat after me: I Am A Good Mom! You’re showing up for your kids and just loving them, and that is enough. Use these resources. Talk to fellow moms who are out there in the trenches and, most importantly, listen, without judgement, without comparing, just neverending compassion and support.

♥ Erin

Good Morning Ladies,

Are you like me? Do you constantly beat yourself up for not meeting your own impossible expectations? We all really need to cut that out right now!  When you become a mother, you don’t turn in your human card and you don’t suddenly stop having needs of your own. It’s about damn time we start giving ourselves the break we deserve!  This post is really like a therapy session for me, but I hope it can help all of you beautiful mamas to give the mom guilt a rest!

Today I Am Giving Myself Permission….

• To Take Time For Myself– It took me too long to stop equating going to Body Back or hiring a babysitter to go out to dinner as selfish. I used to only go out for the night after my kids were already asleep. Every parent needs time to themselves and time away from their kids to recharge their batteries. If I don’t take it, I can’t be the mom that my kids deserve.
• To Reach For That Second Cup of Coffee or Alcoholic Beverage- Yes, I may have a slight addiction to caffeine and I may use alcohol to relax after  bedtime, but back off! After all, the days are long, but the years are short. At least that’s what every sweet old lady at Target keeps telling me!

• To Say No– I’ve struggled with this my entire life, but it is ok to say no to friends and family when what they’re asking for just won’t work for you. I know it doesn’t feel good to have someone upset with you, but no one has ever died from disappointment. They’ll get over it and you’ll learn to put your own needs first.
• To Have My Own Tantrum– We deal with loads of obnoxious and frustrating things daily with patience and grace, but sometimes we’re having a bad day, we’re sick, it’s “shark week”, etc. and we just can’t take it anymore! You’re allowed to cry, yell, have a timeout outside, whatever you need.

• To Throw Away My Bathroom Scale– I need to do this for my own sanity, and I think you should too. Enough said.
• To Not Clean My House– This is not a, you shouldn’t clean your house because you should be busy playing with your kids, thing. This is a, put the vacuum away and let the dishes sit in the sink while you sit on the couch with a trashy magazine, thing. God knows you deserve a break!

• To Lock the Bathroom Door While I’m Taking a Bath– My kids can live without me for fifteen minutes. Yes kids, you do have two parents who are capable of opening the fridge.

• To Not Send That Thank You Note–  If you know me, please never send me another thank you note. I know you are thankful for me and I am thankful for you. I’m always forgetting to send them, especially for my kids’ birthdays, and, when I do remember, they are always late. We can’t be perfect, and that’s ok.
• To Let My Kids Watch Too Much TV– I know this is a hot topic, but sometimes I just have so much to get done and I can’t answer another question about which Pokemon I would want to be. It’s ok to let TV be your babysitter once in a while. I watched a ton of it as a kid and I turned out, debatably, fine!

• To Order Takeout- I love to cook and I do try to serve my kids a vegetable with every meal, but I’m no Gwyneth. My kids eat their fair share of McDonalds and Taco Bell, and they haven’t grown any extra body parts from all of that processed food yet!
• To Go To Bed at 9 pm on Friday With No Shame– I still love a good night out, but sometimes it’s ok to admit that you’re not as young as you used to be and turn in early. Most days I’m exhausted all afternoon, but then have trouble sleeping at night so now, when I get the urge to pass out right after my kids are in bed, I take it.

• To Lose My Temper– Yes, I yell at my kids. I get in bad moods, and I have bad days. I am not a perfect parent, and my kids don’t need me to be.
• To Love My Mom Bod– This has been especially tough as I inch closer to forty. My metabolism has slowed to an almost complete stop and, despite my best efforts, my weight has been creeping up. I’m trying to accept my new body, and, instead of being disappointed or critical, to remember everything that it has accomplished and to be grateful for how healthy it is overall.

• To Bust Out in Spontaneous Song and Dance When My Kids Leave for a Night at Their Grandparents’ House– I love my kids, but that doesn’t mean I have to spend every waking moment with them. It’s ok to be excited and happy to have some time away from them, and it doesn’t make you a bad parent. It just makes you an honest one.

• To Take a Compliment– No more shrugging off compliments! No more, “Yeah, well, anyone can do that.” No more, “This, no, it’s not that special.” Let’s try, “Yes, you’re right. That does look great on me.” or, “Yes, I am awesome at that!” I mean, you don’t need to say that aloud, a simple thank you is great, but you get the point. Stop downplaying compliments! Now is the time to accept that you are awesome and appreciated!
• To Celebrate and Appreciate Myself– Why am I so good at loving and taking care of my family and friends, but horrible at being caring and kind to myself? We all deserve to be cared for and feel special, especially when we put so much time and effort into giving to others. Though it would be nice, I can’t expect someone else to do it for me. I’m working on loving and caring for myself by trying to treat myself the way I treat other people I care about. It’s a work in progress, but I’m getting there!

Just in case it wasn’t clear, I’m also giving YOU permission to do all of these things, and anything else you need to do to keep sane. Not that you need my permission, of course, but you can feel free to blame me if you get any negative feedback while you’re taking care of yourself for a change. In fact, you can even send me the complainer’s phone number. I’ll sort them out! And don’t forget:

♥ Erin

I know school is already out for many of you, but here in RVA we still have two more weeks. Only two more weeks until I get to spend every waking minute with my precious children. Oh joy….Oh rapture. That got me thinking about the wonderfully patient individuals who have been handling them all school year. God bless those teachers, those administrators, and don’t even get me started on what those poor bus drivers have to endure. We definitely can’t forget them.

If you want to thank those people who have managed to make it through the entire school year without running out screaming, a feat I’m not sure I’ll be able to match in just the first week at home with my kids, here are some great gift ideas that they will actually appreciate.

Truth.

Creative Gift Card Gifts- Teachers love gift cards. We all know this. However, for some, a gift card can feel impersonal. Change that by doing one of the following:

• Add to Their Classroom Library– Find a book that is age-appropriate for the grade they teach. On the inside cover, tape a gift card of your choice and on the back cover have your student write their teacher a sweet note or draw them a picture and sign their name.
• Fill Up Their Cup– Buy an inexpensive water bottle, large cup or mason jar and place the gift card in the center of it. Next add some things you either know your child’s teacher likes or things most people like such as hershey kisses, chapstick, a small tube of sunscreen, nail polish, gum, etc. Finish it off with some ribbon or a label with your child’s name.
• Supply Them with Supplies– Visit the Dollar Tree for inexpensive school supplies. Teachers always need extras! Put them all in a plastic bin or basket, tie a ribbon around it and tape the gift card on the top.
• Don’t Forget the Bus Driver– Use these easy printables to personalize your bus driver’s gift card gift or use these gift tags to add a more personal touch to any gift you plan to give them. My kids have two different bus drivers so I’ll be making them chocolate chip cookies.

Get Them Summer-Ready– Stop at Five Below and purchase a beach bag and beach towel and then add in a few of these other ideas: magazines, a beach read, sunglasses, sunscreen, protein bars, a water bottle, lip balm. If you want to get fancy you can attach one of these free printables to the bag from Havalah at Sisters, What.

Write a Note From the Heart– It’s been awhile since I’ve been teaching, but I still remember the sweet note that one of my students’ mothers wrote to me at the end of the school year eleven years ago. (OMG, that adorable first-grader is graduating from high school! Holy shit, I’m old!) Hearing how I’d helped them get through a particularly tough year was the highest praise and best gift I’d ever received. Teachers don’t go into the profession for the glamour and money, they do it because they want to make a difference. Telling them that they did a great job gives them a reason to keep on going!

Make Them a Teacher/Bus Driver Emergency Kit– I love this idea from Jessica at Timeout With Mom. This sweet kit contains everything they could need from extra deodorant to gum to wrinkle releaser.

I’m here to tell you that, at the end of the day, teachers aren’t going to care about the cutesy presentation and the rhyming, personalized gift tags. They will appreciate that you thought of them. There really isn’t a need to overthink it.

If you’ll be home with your kids all summer, like me, may the force be with you! I’ll be posting next week on setting up a summer schedule that will help kids stay on a routine while still having lots of fun.

♥ Erin

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting a little tired of all of this rain!  My three kids have spent way too much time indoors, and that’s made for some really long days. Keep your kids busy and avoid the “I’m bored!” chorus with these inspired indoor ideas.

The sun may come out tomorrow, but if it doesn’t, try one of the ideas above and have some indoor fun.

♥ Erin

When my youngest daughter, Nora, was 18 months old, I was watching an old video of my other daughter, Violet, from when she was a bit younger than that. She was talking so clearly and suddenly it made me realize that Nora really wasn’t. In fact, she was really only saying a few basic words (mom, uh-oh, no) and had actually stopped saying a word or two that she’d been saying before. Instantly, all of the mom-guilt started kicking in. How had I not noticed sooner? What had I failed to do with Nora that I must have done with my other two kids? But the truth is, every kid is different. Some kids will have delays no matter what you do and no matter how soon you notice. What’s important is what you do once you realize there is a problem.

Here are some red flags to look out for, along with steps to take if you notice a delay.

Language Delay Red Flags

It is important to remember that all children develop at different rates, and seeing just one red flag on this chart reflected in your child does not mean he/she has a language delay. Instead, look at your child as a whole to decide if it’s time to talk to your pediatrician.

Expressive language is the way that someone expresses their needs, wants, and ideas.Expressive language ranges from using eye gaze to look at an object to using full sentences to retell an experience. The following are possible expressive language delay red flags for children under 3 years of age:

• Not cooing by 6 months of age
• Not babbling by 9 months of age
• Not having a first word by 15 months of age
• Not having consistent words by 18 months of age
• Not having two word combinations by 24 months of age
• Not being able to understand your child’s speech at 24 months of age
• Strangers not being able to understand your child’s speech at 36 months of age
• Not showing interest in communicating with others (at any age)

Receptive language is your ability to understand what is going on around you or what is being said to you. It ranges from imitating somebody’s actions to following directions. The following are possible receptive language delay red flags for children under 3 years of age:

• Not turning towards a noise like a rattle or voice by 6 months of age
• Not being able to follow simple one-step directions at 12 months of age (such as “bring me your cup”)
• Not being able to point to one body part by 18 months of age
• Not being able to follow simple two-step directions by 36 months of age (such as “pick up the ball and give it to me”)
• Not responding to simple questions by vocalizing or gesturing yes or no by 12 months of age
• Not understanding common gestures like holding your arms out for a hug (by 12 months of age) or holding up a hand for a high five (by 24 months of age).
• Not responding (with either gestures or vocalizations) to greetings by 12 months of age
• Not able to follow eye gaze or finger pointing when talking about an object by 24 months of age
• Not being able to point to 6 body parts by 30 months of age.

-Taken from the Kid’s Creek Therapy website

Steps To Take If You Notice a Delay:

1. Talk to your child’s pediatrician about your concerns. They can provide a medical diagnosis of expressive or receptive language delay that you can then take to the county. If the pediatrician doesn’t think you have cause for concern, you can still move forward to try to get early intervention, but it’s a little easier with their support.

2. If your child is under 3, call and schedule an evaluation at the Infant and Toddler Connection of VA. If your child is over 3 you’ll need to contact your local school district for a full evaluation.

3. The Infant and Toddler Connection of VA will have two different professionals evaluate your child, through observation and by having you fill out questionnaires, to determine if your child has a significant enough delay to qualify for early intervention.

4. If your child qualifies, you will work with his/her service coordinator to create an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) for your child. The plan includes current information about the child’s skills and both long and short term goals that you have for them.

5. Your child will be matched with a service provider who will come to your house or your child’s daycare for weekly therapy sessions that work around your schedule.

6. After both 6 months and one year of intervention the goals on the IFSP will be reviewed and modified as needed.

7. When your child turns three they will age-out of early intervention and it will be your decision if you want to continue services through your local school district. If you decide that it’s necessary, the process should begin months before your child’s birthday because the school district’s evaluation process is a lot more in depth and can take awhile.

Nora has been receiving services through the Infant and Toddler Connection now for just over a year and we have seen amazing growth! She still has difficulty being understood at times, but her vocabulary has grown from three words to hundreds of words. In fact, her speech therapist, (who is awesome, btw) and I agree that she won’t need to continue services once she turns three because we both know that she won’t qualify this time. She’s just made so much progress!

If you have a child that you’re concerned about, don’t hesitate to talk to his/her doctor and trust your instincts! You know your child better than anyone, and you know when something doesn’t feel right. If you have more questions, please feel free to reach out to me on Facebook or through email at agoodenoughmom@gmail.com and check out the links below.

♥ Erin

Useful Links:

Infant and Toddler Connection of VA- http://www.infantva.org

Henrico County Public Schools-http://henricoschools.us

Hanover County Public Schools- http://www.hcps.us

Chesterfield County Public Schools- http://mychesterfieldschools.com

More Info on Individualized Family Service Plans (IFSPs)

Simplified Language Delay Info

Nursery Rhymes to Help with Early Language Development

Mouth Exercises for Kids with Low Tone

Effective Speech Therapy Activities for Toddlers

Choosing Books for Language Development

Board Books for Children with Speech Delays

How do we teach our kids about racism and prejudice? Other than leading by example, how do we show them to be kind and inclusive to everyone they meet? Reading with your kids, even from a very young age, is a great way to encourage them to ask questions and think about more difficult topics. Here is our list of great books that can help you start the discussion on diversity, prejudice and inclusion, and some advice on how to keep the conversation going.

1. It’s Ok to be Different by Todd Parr– I LOVE all of Todd Parr’s books for their fun illustrations and bold colors, but this one is a great way to show kids that differences are not important and can actually be something for which to be praised and admired.
2. Giraffes Can’t Dance by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees– With adorable illustrations and rhymes, this book tells the story of Gerald the Giraffe. He was mocked by all of the other animals for his horrible dancing, until he found his own music and basically became Africa’s So You Think You Can Dance Champion. I love how this teaches that if kids aren’t included or are made fun of, they should just march to their own beat and change the tune.
3. Why Are People Different Colors?: Big issues for little people about identity and diversity by Chris McCurry and Emma Waddington- Two child psychologists wrote this book to help parents and caregivers teach and explain all kinds of big topics to small children. Such a great idea!
4. We’re Different, We’re the Same by Bobbi Kates– I was still in elementary school when this Sesame Street book was released, but the lessons it teaches about diversity are still important and the characters are the ones we all know and love.
5. Whoever You Are by Mem Fox– Children all over the world right now are laughing, crying and playing, no matter where they are or what they look like. With beautiful illustrations, this book shows just how similar we all really are, and that our differences make us special.
6. Imagine by John Lennon – Jean Jullien used Lennon’s powerful lyrics to create abeautiful picture book. The lyrics are timeless and may lead to some great discussions on how we can make the dreams in the song into reality. You may be surprised by how much young children can grasp these complex ideas.
7. I am Martin Luther King, Jr. by Brad Meltzer– This book does a wonderful job of introducing Martin Luther King to young children. It is part of a series of books called Ordinary People Change the World with other subjects like Albert Einstein, Amelia Earhart and Rosa Parks. What could be a better lesson than teaching kids that with enough perseverance they could change the world? His other similar books, Heroes for my Daughter and Heroes for my Son, are also awesome!
8. Every Color by Erin Either Kono– Though this book is not specifically designed to teach about race, I think it would be a great way to introduce the topic to young learners. All the polar bear in this story sees is white, white, white until he goes exploring with a little girl to discover all the colors in the world. I think it teaches an important lesson: color-blindness is not the answer, recognizing and celebrating our differences and our sameness is where it’s at.
9. Families, Families, Families by Suzanne Lang– The message in this book is, “If you love each other, than you are a family.” When kids see families that look different from theirs, it can be confusing. This book offers a simple explanation for what makes a family.
10. This Day In June by Gayle E. Pittman– This book discusses the fun and unityof  Pride parade. It’s a great way to teach children about the LGBTQ community. It also includes a section at the back for caregivers on how to discuss gender identity and sexual orientation with our children. Regardless of what you personally believe, these are issues that are important for us to discuss in today’s world.

5 Ways to Encourage Understanding of Diversity and Inclusiveness in Children:

1. Take your children to multi-cultural events around the city. Show them the beauty of differences. Let them interact and play with people who look, pray or sound differently from them.
2. Don’t chastise children for pointing out differences. This can make them feel that there is something wrong with the difference and not just impolite to point. Instead, use it as an opportunity to talk about the differences they noticed. Praise children for noticing and then teach them that we are all different, but that those differences are only a part of who we are.
3. Be on the lookout for teachable moments. There are many times in our lives when the topics of diversity and inclusion can come up naturally. With my kids it was whenever we saw a man or woman asking for money on the street. They asked questions that I tried to answer as honestly as I could, and we had a long discussion about homelessness. Sometimes you might hear or see something that is not in line with your values. This is also a great time to discuss what the appropriate action would’ve been.
4. Teach children to use respectful language and avoid using labels, instead calling people by their names whenever possible.
5. Most importantly, model appropriate behavior. Use inclusive language. If you hear a friend make a racist or bigoted joke, say something. When your kids point out differences, acknowledge them and then point out sameness.

Wishing you days full of kindness, tolerance, and extra sleep (a girl can dream, right?) !

♥ Erin

My two year old will soon become a threenager and, holy cannoli, is she feeling it! Maybe it’s a growth spurt. Maybe she’s cutting molars. I have no idea, and she’s not talking. What I do know is that her moods have been changing faster than a hormonal teenager, and just about everything and everyone in her life has the capacity to piss her off. So what’s the best way to deal with a toddler tantrum, and how can you stop them before they become a full-on meltdown?

Keep Kids Full and Rested. The most important thing you can do to avoid tantrums is to make sure your kids are getting enough sleep, eating enough at meal times and avoiding the crash that comes with eating too much sugar. I realize that this is easier said than done. We had a lot of sleep success after talking to Becca Campbell at Little Z’s Sleep Consulting. She also has a blog filled with great tips. For healthy eating ideas for toddlers, I recommend the following books: Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family by Ellyn Satter, and  Raising a Healthy, Happy Eater: A Parent’s Handbook by Nimali Fernando. Also, I’m planning on buying this book, Adventures in Veggieland: Help Your Kids Learn to Love Vegetables with 100 Easy Activities and Recipes by Melanie Potock when it comes out in a few weeks. It looks like so much fun! My favorite toddler eating tip was to fill a muffin tin with all different kinds of healthy snacks (baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, berries, nuts, seeds, granola, etc.) to make eating healthy more fun.

Respect His/Her Feelings– It’s important to make all children feel listened to and understood, even when you may think that they are being ridiculous. Acknowledge their feelings by verbalizing them or by expressing understanding. You can say things like, “You seem mad that you can’t have another cookie. It’s so frustrating when you can’t get what you want.” Depending on the child, you may want to follow up those words with a long hug. The contact and pressure of hugs have been proven to help many kids calm down.

Here are some other great ideas for what to say:

• “You are so mad. You are showing me how much you wanted that candy.” (Source)
• “I’m sorry you’re (state the emotion). When you calm down, I’ll give you a hug and we can talk about what happened.” (Source)
• Use reflection. For example, if his arms are crossed: “Your arms are going like this (cross your arms). Your face looks like this (mirror his facial expression).” He will probably look at you, so take a deep breath. He might unconsciously take a deep breath with you. Then say: “You seem (state the emotion). You were wanting (state the desire).” (Source)
• “I can see you’re really upset. I wish I could help you calm down right now. Here, why don’t you draw a picture that shows me how mad you are?” Replace drawing with any activity you think will be soothing to your kid or will help them redirect their energy to something positive. (Source)
• “I love you no matter what you say, and you’re a good kid. But we need to take a break and then talk about this.” (Source)

Distract and Redirect– Toddler moods are often ships passing in the night. Though they can easily become upset, they are often just as easily all smiles again if you can provide an attractive diversion. Sometimes toddlers are so wrapped up in their tantrums that they need you to help provide them with an “out”. Knowing what activities make your child happy, and using them to your advantage, can stop a tantrum in its tracks.  It could be as simple as pointing out a really cool truck or bringing out a game that you know your toddler loves to play. You know best what will work for your child.

Walk Away– If you’ve already acknowledged your child’s feelings and attempted to redirect them, without success, don’t drive yourself crazy trying to get them to stop. At this point, it’s ok to tell them that you’re going to give them some space while they calm down. Obviously, if you’re out in public or if your child is engaging in aggressive behaviors like kicking, head butting, etc. this doesn’t apply. However, if it’s your average tantrum, sometimes kids just need space and time to get their feelings out. Set a timer for a 2-5 minutes and then try again to offer hugs or to redirect.

Stay Strong. Sometimes tantrums seem to go on for hours, and those little terrors, um, I mean, toddlers, can really wear us down. Yes, it’s important to pick your battles, but once you’ve put your foot down and said no, it’s important that you stick to your word. This not only shows your child that no means no, but it teaches them that they can trust the words that you say.

The Gauntlet: Public Tantrums, Stay Calm and Get Out- If you’ve never been the victim of a public tantrum, believe you me, winter is coming. When my kids lose their shit in public I feel a mix of intense embarrassment and anger. This nasty cocktail makes it nearly impossible for me to keep my cool, but that is what we all need to do. When it’s your turn to be the one everyone is staring at in the Target checkout line, don’t yell, don’t bargain and don’t give in. Just leave your cart full of diapers, wine and clearance finds where it is, grab your child(ren), and silently whisk them off to your car. Everyone will be so impressed that you didn’t go medieval on your kids that they’ll forget all about the tantrum. You are not the first person this has happened to. There will be other parents staring at you, but don’t take those as stares of judgment. They are silent stares of solidarity and the desire to give you a hug and tell you that everything will be ok, but they don’t know you so that would be weird.

Be Proactive: I’m a reader and a planner so reading parenting books has always helped me to feel prepared for all of the parenting surprises coming my way. I haven’t actually been prepared, but at least I’ve felt better in between crises. Here are the books I’ve read over the last eight years that have helped me navigate parenthood:

1. Toddler 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Toddler by Ari Brown and Denise Fields
2. Screamfree Parenting by Hal Runkel
3. Life Will Get Better: Simple Solutions for Parents of Children with Attention, Anxiety, Mood and Behavioral Challenges by Nicole Beurkens
4. No More Meltdowns: Positive Strategies for Managing and Preventing Out-Of-Control Behavior by Jed Baker
5. The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The World Overwhelms Them by Elaine Aron
6. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
7. Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber

And if you just need more proof that you’re not the only one dealing with this crap, check out this book or this blog or this post.  We’ve all been there. Stay strong, and we’ll get through this together!

♥ Erin

Ladies, being a mom can be a thankless and exhausting job.  I don’t know about you, but I sure as shit don’t have the patience or the unlimited energy to live up to the American fantasy of a “good mom”. A good mom makes healthy and nutritious meals for her family and serves them with a smile. A good mom keeps the house clean, does crafts, bakes cookies and still finds the time to drive her husband wild in the bedroom. Good lord, no one can honestly do all of that, day in and day out, at least not without some serious help. On bad days in my house, I keep the kids alive and don’t run down the street screaming, and I consider that a major win.

We all have days when we feel like we’ve got this parenting thing nailed, but there are always the flip-side days, the days when we JUST. CAN’T. EVEN. On those days, be kind to yourself. Ignore that voice in your head, you know the one, the one that says you’re a bad mom and that you’re doing it all wrong. Tell that hussy to shut up! Instead, try one of the strategies below. Pretty soon, the storm will pass and you’ll have discovered new motivation to be, not the best mom, but the best version of yourself that you can be.

(FYI- This is me trying to be the perfect mom all while keeping my cool, being a loving wife, writing stuff people actually want to read, working out, texting people back, drinking enough water, keeping a clean house all while staying sane.)

When You Lose Your Cool

Give yourself a timeout. When you’re feeling like an angry toddler, go ahead and treat yourself like one. Remove yourself from the situation that is making you frustrated for a minute or two. Your kids will be fine without you for a short time, and you’ll have taught them a healthy strategy for dealing with frustration. My go-to time out spot is the garage. While you’re away, take at least ten deep breaths and focus on why you are feeling so angry. Often, it has less to do with your child’s behavior and more with something within you. For example, when my kids don’t listen, it makes me feel unseen and this has always been a trigger for me. You can come back with new knowledge about yourself and maybe a better way to talk to your children about your anger.

Get outside. There’s just something special about getting out into the fresh air. It works wonders on humans of all ages. If you and your children or your spouse are having a rough day, go outside together and do something physical. Toddlers are so easily distracted that a little time having fun with you in the sunshine can really reset the entire day.

Dance it out. My family is all about a dance party. It puts a smile on everyone’s face. We take turns choosing the song and everyone has to dance whether you like the song or not. Spending time with my kids, watching them, without speaking, really puts me back into a place of love and helps the anger and frustration subside. How can you stay angry when you’re watching a two year old dance with abandon?

Try this awesome hair band tip from Kelly at Happy You, Happy Family. I read this last week and it really resonated with me. Reading that it takes five positive interactions to make up for every one negative interaction was heartbreaking. That’s why I think it’s so important to use this visual reminder to speak with kindness and love.

Read these tips from the book, Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham and beautifully summarized by Megan on her blog, The Boho Mama. 

When You Can’t Get Off The Couch

Create Your Top Three Tasks– Every morning, make a list of the top three tasks you need to accomplish that day. When you’re already feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated a twenty-plus item to do list can be incredibly daunting. However, prioritizing just three important tasks a day seems totally doable.

Itemize your to do list- This is my go-to strategy when my to-do list is getting out of control. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the list, I break the list up between the seven days in the week. Once the list is split up, it suddenly seems much more manageable and suddenly I can breathe again.

Start With What’s Easy– When you’re not feeling your best, don’t feel bad about just starting with what’s easy. Sometimes just getting off the couch and getting started is the most challenging part. When you start with one simple task, the others will fall into place.

Start Parenting Yourself– Please watch this TED Talk by Mel Robbins, How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over. It offers some truly life-changing ideas about getting things done and making the most out of your life. The part about parenting yourself really stuck with me. Whether it’s working out, finding a new job or potty training your child, you’re never going to “feel like it”. Use your best mom-voice, kindly tell yourself that it’s time to put on your big girl pants and get moving!

Make a different kind of list– To stay motivated sometimes you need to see what you’ve done. If you’re already feeling like a lazy good for nothing, it’s really easy to give up.  Instead, write a list of all of the positive things you accomplished that day. Be sure to include the basics like,  I took a shower and brushed my teeth. Put everything on there. When you see what you’ve accomplished, you’ll be more likely to stay motivated.

It’s so easy to get into a rut and fall into negative thought patterns, especially during the winter months. This winter has been particularly challenging for me, so I’m right there with you, but it’s almost behind us! Let’s go on a journey of self-discovery this month, just in time for Spring. Let’s forget about the “good mom” stereotypes and figure out what makes us happy, what motivates us, and let’s kick to the curb the things in our lives (fear, shame, negativity, toxic people, etc.) that are getting in the way! We got this!

♥ Erin

Good morning! I’ve compiled a list of springtime activities guaranteed to keep the whole family busy as the weather warms up.

Springtime Crafts/Recipes

Birdseed Ornaments from Debbie at One Little Project- I can’t wait to try these with my kids next week!

Hand-print Flower Pots from Connie at Little Stars Learning- These would make great inexpensive mother’s day or preschool teacher gifts!

Button Rain Drops from Kim at The Pinterested Parent- Such a sweet and easy craft, that can be adapted for the littlest crafters. For older kids you can expand the activity by having them sort the buttons by color, shape or size.

Salt Dough Egg Ornaments from Polona at Baby Jungle- We used to make these for Christmas when I was a kid, but the eggs would make great Easter decor!

Ice Cream in a Bag recipe from Genius Kitchen- We actually made this last weekend at our house. My daughters wanted plain vanilla, but for my son I added a few drops of blue and green food coloring and 3 drops of peppermint essential oil and he had a delicious turquoise mint ice cream in under 10 minutes!

Peeps Playdough from Crystal at Growing a Jeweled Rose- I’m not gonna lie, I hate the taste of Peeps. What a great way to use them without exploding them in the microwave, though that’s fun too.

Outdoor Activities

Ice Cream Cone Seedlings from Gardening Know How- How clever is this idea if it works?! Once the seedlings are ready to plant in the ground, you can plant the entire cone so there is no waste!

Make a Butterfly Feeder from Ehow.com- Design your own butterfly feeder. Let your kids choose and add the flowers and glass beads and create something that you can watch and enjoy together until the fall.

Outdoor Sticky Mural from Jenae at I Can Teach My Child – What a great way to save all of the “treasures” that your child finds outside without having to bring them into your house!

Host an Outdoor Sensory Playdate from Crystal at Growing a Jeweled Rose- How fun does this look for kids of all ages?! Use the ideas here or come up with your own, and watch your kids have a blast engaging in sensory play.

Color Hop from Jenae at I Can Teach My Child. This activity is so simple, yet so effective and fun for teaching your toddler colors.

Nature Scavenger Hunt from Shaunna at Fantastic Fun and Learning- A scavenger hunt is so fun, kids will forget they’re learning. You can also adapt them for whatever you want your kids to work on that week: colors, numbers, shapes, etc.

Check out these fantastic sites and get even more great ideas for having fun with your child while teaching them something new!

Growing a Jeweled Rose

I Can Teach my Child

Busy Toddler

Spring is a time to get outside and explore, and to play with our children as if we are still children ourselves. It’s a time to teach them something new, and learn something new about ourselves in the process. Enjoy this great season of new beginnings and family fun!

♥ Erin

Earth Day is next Sunday, April 22nd. What are you doing to celebrate our planet this month? If you need ideas, you’ve come to the right place! I’ve collected ten simple and fun ideas to help your kids celebrate the Earth, while also learning to care for and appreciate her.

Grown Your Own– Nothing makes you appreciate nature like growing your own flowers or fruits and vegetables. You can even start small with an indoor herb garden. You can buy seeds for only 25 cents at the Dollar Tree.

Be a Trash Collector- You can make picking up litter a lot of fun. All you need is a grabber toy like this one. Take a walk around your neighborhood and use the grabber to pick up any litter you see. Talk about what would happen if everyone just threw their trash outside instead of in a trash can.

Feed the Birds– Try making one of these homemade bird feeders and then spend some time outside observing the birds. Talk to your kids about what they’re seeing and how you are helping the birds. Ask them where the birds would be getting their food if they didn’t have the bird feeder.

Cheerio Bird Feeder– This is a great one because kids are able to eat the materials and it doubles as a fine motor activity.

Gelatin Natural Feeder-This feeder is nut-free and seems very quick and easy to make.

Any of these other 12 ideas from The Realistic Mama

Try These Upcycled Crafts- Talk to your kids about how reusing materials gives them a second life!

• Pouch Cap Insects
• Soda Bottle Watering Cans
• Earth Day Tambourine
• Earth Crayons

Decorate Your World- Continue the tradition of RVA Rocks in an even more local way by painting rocks and scattering them around your neighborhood. While you’re out walking around, come up with a list of the other things that make your neighborhood beautiful.

Go Exploring with a Nature Scavenger Hunt– Help your kids discover the wonders of nature that they may not always notice. Use one of these scavenger hunts or create your own.

• Scavenger Hunt from Trish Sutton
• Scavenger Hunt from The Taylor House

Visit a Local Farmer’s Market to Eat the Rainbow– Check out this comprehensive list of local farmer’s markets and plan your visit soon! My favorite are Lakeside, St. Stephen’s and South of the James. Purchase some new colorful fruits and vegetables. Chop them and put them all on a plate and encourage your child to try something new. Explain that all of the new healthy food came from the earth and see if they can come up with other wonderful things that they know come from the earth. This episode of Daniel Tiger always helped my veggie hating daughter to give new food a try.

Heal the Earth– Read the book, Heal the Earth by Julian Lennon, and then draw a large Earth on a piece of paper. Talk to your children about ways they can heal the Earth and write down what they say on the paper. Buy a cheap box of bandaids at the Dollar Tree. Let your kids put a bandaid onto the Earth drawing every time they come up with a way to heal.

Make a Nature Collage– Use contact paper to make this simple and beautiful nature collage. Go out on a nature hunt and have your kids collect flowers, leaves, sticks, pebbles, etc. Then follow the directions here to turn their  treasures into a keepsake.

Celebrate with Snack Time- Try one of these delicious  and adorable snack ideas.

• Earth Day Popcorn
• Classic Ants on a Log
• Tree Snack-Make a tree out using small pretzel sticks for the trunk and branches and sliced grapes for the leaves.
• Earth Day Smoothies

If you live in RVA, don’t forget to check out the local events happening this month:

Earth Day at Maymont– Saturday, April 21st 10 am-12 pm-Registration required.

Sheep to Shawl– Saturday, April 21st 12-4 at Crump Park, FREE- Watch them sheer the sheep, and enjoy live music and food outside in nature.

RVA Earth Day Festival– Saturday, April 21st 12-7 pm-This street festival features local artisans, musicians, food and drink and is located in Richmond’s Manchester neighborhood.

Earth Day of Service– Saturday, April 21st 9 am-12 pm. This service day was organized by the Enrichmond Foundation. You can volunteer to clean up local green spaces. Choose which location in Richmond you’d like to volunteer and sign up here.

Hardywood’s Spring Bada Bing-Saturday, April 21st 11 am-6 pm- Celebrate Earth Day by visiting all of the amazing local artisans that this awesome event has to offer! The event is at their old location on Ownby Lane.

Happy Earth Day!

♥ Erin