Parenting

Wednesday is a magical day in my house. It is the day that my wonderful in-laws come and take baby N (not a baby, almost 3, but, dammit, my baby) for the day. On Wednesdays I always have a million and a half goals and plans for what I will accomplish in these 5 blissful hours between when they pick her up and when my big kids get off the bus. Of course, things don’t always go as planned.

Today I met my mother-in-law at Target.  I needed some new shirts as most of mine are too small. I’m going to lie to myself and say that it’s because of the new muscles I’ve developed in my arms. (Shut up! It could be true!) She took N to the playground and I walked happily into the store. Two and a half hours later I emerged, bewildered, clutching four large shopping bags and a grande iced vanilla latte. WTF, Target! Yeah, that’s right, I’m taking a lesson from my children, (and our president), and not taking personal responsibility for anything that happened during my visit into that shopping black hole.

Have you seen The Holderness Family’s Video below:

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Anyway, I had a point, and that point is…………..I did not get SHIT done today! My kids will be off the bus in less than an hour and I didn’t:

• Walk the dog.
• Start the three loads of laundry.
• Do my Beachbody On Demand workout (Brazil Butt Lift, if you must know. Nosy.).
• Clean the playroom, childrens’ rooms, bathroom, etc.
• Write anything for my blog other than this post about how I didn’t do anything.

I enjoyed my time in that black hole known as Target immensely, but as soon as I headed home, the guilt starts to set in. I didn’t get anything productive done! This is why I so rarely take these moments to myself. I want to veg in front of the TV or start a good book, but suddenly I remember that I didn’t start that soup that I told my kids they could have for dinner or I forgot to fill out forms and write checks for the after school program that starts next week. There is almost always something to do that I put ahead of making time for me. How can I just sit there and read or take a walk by myself? There is just so much to do! I don’t have the time.

Well, guess what? That is bullshit thinking. That is thinking that will leave you feeling depleted and taken for granted, and the only person you’ll have to blame is yourself. When your husband and kids see that you always drop what you’re doing for them, they start to think of that as the norm. You may feel like by doing this for them you are showing them that you love them, but all that you’re showing them is that you come last. We’ve all heard those sayings, “Put your oxygen mask on first.” or “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” It’s time to take that message seriously.

Follow these steps:

1. Find a hobby that gets you time alone– At my house it’s my gardening. It gets me outside and alone a lot during the spring and summer. I highly recommend it. If you’re not into gardening, try running, blogging, joining a sports team or volunteering.
2. Disappear for at least 10 minutes every day- Meditate, Take a bath, Read, Journal- Do whatever makes you happy for 10 minutes or more and do it alone, away from your spouse and kids. If you are home by yourself, put the kids in front of a movie. You are not allowed to do any chores or productive work during this time!
3. Make plans to do nothing for an hour or more every week– It’s hard to carve out this kind of time as a mom, but it’s important. Talk to your spouse and put it on your calendar. This can be time away from the house or you can have your spouse or sitter take your children somewhere for a few hours and get time in your own house. For me, there is nothing better than being in my own home alone. Oh, beautiful silence, I’ve missed you!
4. Set boundaries– In life your children will need to learn to wait. Start teaching them that lesson now. It’s ok for you to say, “I’m busy right now, but I can help you when I finish my coffee.” or ” I’m talking to a grown-up right now and you need to wait your turn.” When your spouse asks you to run an errand for them, you can say no if  you don’t have the time or don’t think you can get your shit together to even make it out of the house. We’ve all had those days! Let your family know that you are human and you need to be taken care of sometimes too.

You don’t have to be the savior or the superhero of your family. They will still love you if you start taking care of yourself. It doesn’t have to be an either/or scenario. It’s that simple, ladies. Now get out there and do more nothing, by any means necessary!

♥ Erin

PS- Dads, if any of you are reading and feel annoyed that I only addressed moms here, I apologize. Most of the dads I know seem to already grasp the importance of doing nothing. In fact, my own husband is always preaching to me how I should do more nothing around here. If you’re one of those guys who never does nothing, you should start too!

Hey Parents, if you’re stumped on what to get your kids’ teachers this year, I got you covered. After living with teachers my entire life and then becoming one myself, I’m sort of an expert on the subject. There are tons of #1 teacher ornaments, mugs and knick-knacks out there, not to mention all of the apple-themed gifts. Also, now that we live in the world of Pinterest, there is also shit like this:

I mean, who has the time?

And this:

Are you frickin’ kiddin’ me?

But before you break out the glue gun and glitter, please take a minute to think it through. Imagine a first year teacher with 18 kids in his or her classroom. Now imagine if each year, for his or her first five years of teaching, half of those kids gifted the teacher ornaments for Christmas. That’s already 45 ornaments! My mom taught elementary school for over thirty years. Just sit back and try to imagine the sheer volume of knick knacks and tchotchkes! Half of our Christmas ornaments were adorned with apples, for God’s sake! It was overwhelming!

This year, please put down that ornament and show your appreciation for your child’s teacher with a gift that they will appreciate as well.

Four Gifts Teachers Love To Get:

1.) Gift cards- This may seem impersonal, but you know what, the teacher isn’t a friend or relative so impersonal is ok! To make it more personal you can find out about their interests and then get a gift card tailored to them. Our school has teachers fill out a form like this one at the beginning of the year to help with gift ideas. Last year, I used these funny gift tags, and they were a big hit.

2.) Personal Notes From You or Your Child- Eleven years ago, when I was in my second year of teaching, one of my parents wrote me a short note telling me how much I helped her son that year. I teared up when I read it, and I still have it. Teachers don’t go into education for the glamour or the money, and it’s often a pretty thankless job day after day. Telling him or her how important they are and what a difference they’ve made can really make a teacher’s day.

3.) Gifts for the classroom– Ask the teacher what they need the most right now and then go out and purchase those things. Teachers are often going out and buying school supplies with their own money. You can save their money and their valuable time by taking care of this for them.

4.) Edible Gifts– My mom got a delicious cranberry loaf every Christmas, and I looked forward to eating that thing pretty much all year! If you have something special that you love to make; cookies, fudge, toffee, etc. that’s something special that you can share with the teachers. You can also use the list I posted above to find out your teacher’s favorite foods and provide them a basket with three or four of those favorites. Be sure to check for any allergies or sugar restrictions.

Happy Holidays and Happy Gifting!

♥ Erin

Halloween is over and we’re settling into November. In the Sorkin house, fewer hours of daylight and colder weather means it’s a great time to binge watch some new shows! Who’s with me?

Have you already finished Season 2 of Stranger Things? Are you tired of bawling your eyes out only five minutes into every damn episode of This is Us? Me too! Check out my list below of the shows that I personally recommend. There are so many that they may even get you through until the final season of Game of Thrones comes out next summer.

1. Bloodline (Family Drama)– Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights) has aways been the glue that holds his family together, but after his older brother (amazingly played by Ben Mendelsohn) comes back into town and his father passes away, family secrets are revealed and things start to unravel. Sissy Spacek and Sam Sheppard also star.
2. Mindhunter (Crime Drama)– For me this show started slow, but, by the second episode, I was hooked. Set in the 1970’s the show stars Jonathan Groff (Whom I’m sure most of you know as Christof in Frozen) as FBI agent, Holden Ford. With a new wave of stranger killings, he is convinced that the FBI needs to begin to study the psychology behind why people become killers. He thinks the best way to do this is to interview incarcerated killers, but this idea doesn’t go over well with those in the FBI concerned with maintaining the status quo. This show is creepy and fascinating!
3. Ozark (Drama/Thriller)-Predictably, Jason Bateman plays the the family guy that gets more than he bargained for in his dodgy dealings with a Mexican drugs cartel, with Laura Linney as his cheating wife. Sometimes funny and always brooding, this series will fill the Walter White shaped void in all our lives.
4. The Killing (Mystery/ Crime Thriller)– I fell in love with this show when we still had cable and it was on AMC. The characters are so well-developed and raw that it feels like you’re a fly on the wall, watching their actual lives unravel.
5. Rectify (Family Drama)– This is another wonderfully acted, raw show with amazing character development. After being wrongfully convicted of murdering his high school girlfriend, and spending 19 years on death row, Daniel Holden has been released from prison. He goes back home to live with his mother and sister who never stopped fighting to prove his innocence. However, as you can imagine, his reintroduction into “normal” life is very difficult and not everyone is happy to see him out of prison.
6. The Five (British Mystery/Drama)– A 5 year old boy, Jesse, goes missing and then 18 years later his DNA is found at the scene of a brutal murder. The boy’s teenage brother, now in his thirties, along with three of his closest friends, has always felt responsible for the boy’s disappearance, and they work together to get to the bottom of what really happened to Jesse, all those years ago.
7. Jack Taylor (Irish Crime Drama)– This series, set in Galway, is based on the books of Ken Bruen. Iain Glen (Game of Thrones) plays the eponymous role of Jack Taylor, a former officer with the Garda Síochána (national police) who becomes a “finder” (private investigator) after leaving the service. The cases are really interesting and the accents are sexy as hell.
8. Paranoid (British Crime Drama)– I love the strong female lead in this show, Indira Varma (also from Game of Thrones). She is tough, smart, but still very human. The entire season is focused on solving one grisly, mysterious murder. So far there is only one season, but I’ve heard another one is in the works.
9. Scott and Bailey (British Crime Drama)– Another show with strong female leads, this one focuses on detectives Scott and Bailey as they rise up through the ranks of the department, solve cases and destroy their personal lives. Solid stuff!
10. True Crime (Australian Crime Drama/True Stories)– I love that this show is based on actual cases. At 90 minutes an episode, they’re a little long and drawn out, but well-developed and very detailed.
11. Father Brown (British Mystery/Crime)– Mark Williams, (Mr. Weasley from Harry Potter) stars as a catholic priest who is really good at solving mysteries. It’s not entirely believable, but very watchable and I love the characters in his small English village.
12. London Spy (British Thriller/Mystery)– This show is creepy and weird, but kind of addictive. I wish there was more than one season out right now! It tells the story of club kid, Danny (amazingly acted by Ben Whishaw), who meets the very buttoned up Alex on the street one morning. Danny is immediately infatuated with Alex who seems like such an innocent. However, he soon finds out that Alex might not be who he seems. Charlotte Rampling is so wonderfully frightening as Alex’s intense, controlling mother, and the super-talented Jim Broadbent also stars as Danny’s close friend and mentor.
13. Luther (British Thriller/Mystery)– Idris Elba. Enough said. Seriously though, this crime drama is full of passion and obsession, and just enough danger.
14. Jessica Jones and Luke Cage (Marvel)– I’m not usually into the whole Marvel Universe thing, but these shows are great. Jessica and Luke are two separate shows that are all tangled up together, and they’re both full of dark characters. My favorite was David Tennant (Dr. Who) as Jessica’s ex with deadly powers. It was so fun to watch him be so bad.
15. Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries (Australian Mystery/Comedy)– I love this show set in 1920’s Sydney. Miss Phryne Fisher plays an independent woman, way ahead of her time. She is a private investigator with very close ties to the local police and together they solve crimes. Her humor and wit make her different than anyone else on TV.
16. Master of None (Comedy)-Aziz Ansari writes and stars in this comedy, creating a humorous and sometimes painfully honest look into modern life. He is so sweet, self-aware and self-deprecating, and my favorite guy on TV right now.
17. Love Sick (British Comedy)– After finding out he has an STD, Dylan must get back in touch with every girl he has ever had sex with to let them know the bad news. The premise makes this show sound like a buddy comedy, but it’s actually a really sweet romantic comedy about finding love and the importance of friendship, plus the lead, Johnny Flynn, is freakin’ adorable.
18. Happy Endings (Comedy)– This is a show about six friends living and loving together in Chicago. Sound familiar? I know, I know; It’s been done. However the obscure, but hilarious pop culture references and modern spin make this show really fun to watch. DVD only
19. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Comedy)-This is a raucous and lighthearted comedy about a woman who escapes a doomsday cult, after living 15 years underground. Ellie Kemper manages to be both adorable and hilarious, but it’s her best buddy and roommate, played by Titus Burgess, who steals the show with his over the top antics. Be careful though, the theme song is so catchy that it will be stuck in your head, on a loop, for years, dammit!
20. The Great British Baking Show (Cooking Competition)–The Great British Baking Show is all about people being nice to each other as they attempt various baking challenges to win the title of Britain’s best amateur baker.  With the help of charming lead hosts Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins and thoughtful judges Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood, there’s plenty of humor and a surprising level of intensity as you anxiously hope the contestants’ baked goods can come to fruition.

I left out some choices that I thought were too obvious, a la Breaking Bad or The Walking Dead, and tried to include titles that I loved, but that don’t get as much press. Hope you find something great to watch tonight!

(I originally intended to include show from all the streaming services we watch, but there are just so many good things to watch right now! Be on the lookout for Part 2: Amazon and Part 3: Hulu)

♥ Erin

I know, I know, that title seems over-dramatic, but I swear to you, it’s not. I told you about my time at The Mama Retreat. Another of the hosts/founders of the event was Becca Campbell of Little Z’s Sleep Consulting. She gave a workshop on building better sleep and then answered all of our sleep questions.

When I read about this part of the retreat, I honestly didn’t think it would apply to me. My kids are all over 2 and, after almost eight years, I thought I knew a lot about how to get them sleep. I assumed the sleep issues they’d been having were just a phase they were going through and there was nothing my husband and I could do about it. Man, did I have a lot to learn!

Here are the problems we’d been having:

1. My big kids took forever to complete their bedtime routine and needed my husband or I to lay with them until they fell asleep. We started at 7 pm, but often wouldn’t finish until 8:45.
2. They also came into our room any time between 11 pm and 4 am EVERY NIGHT and climbed into bed with us while we were too tired to fight back!
3. Baby N had recently started climbing out of her crib at nap and bedtime. She seemed very fearful of her crib so we started putting her to bed in our bed and then transferring her to the crib when we came up to sleep.
4. She needed pacifiers to get to sleep and we would often lose them.
5. She would also climb out of her crib again in the middle of the night and get into bed with us.
6. I’d spend most of the night with three kids in our bed, all fighting to be as close to me as possible. I am not a snuggler, so to say this wasn’t working would be an understatement.

When I talked to Becca, she told me that with a few tweaks to our bedtime routine, we could have all three kids falling asleep on their own and staying in their own beds all night. I’ll admit, I was very skeptical. However, after one week of consistent practice of Becca’s tips, we are seeing some significant changes!

Since my kids are older, I started by explaining the changes to them and making sure they understood why they were important. I was surprised by how quickly they got on board. Becca used a great analogy to describe the importance of independent sleeping. When you snuggle your kids to sleep, give them a pacifier or any other sleep prop, you are teaching them that you are in the driver’s seat of their sleep bus. When they wake up in the middle of the night and you’re not there, of course they will need you to fall back asleep because you are the driver.

Here are the changes we made to teach our kids how to be in the sleep driver’s seat:

No More Screen Time After 5 PM– We started by removing screen time before bed. In the past, my kids would all watch an hour of television while eating dinner. This would give me time to clean the kitchen, cook something different for my husband and I, write, etc. Now, instead of watching TV, the kids eat quickly and then we go outside together to play. While harmful blue light from screens has been shown to negatively impact sleep, sunlight has proven to do the opposite.

We Cut Out the Paci Cold Turkey– After Becca assured me that it would be harder for us than for Baby N, we took her advice and cut out the pacifier. I rounded up all of the pacis and put them in a gift bag. I told N that we would put them in the mailbox for the new babies at the hospital. She was sad, but she has a serious soft spot for little babies so she kept it together. Since she was a big girl now, I took her to Target to pick out a Cabbage Patch Kid to snuggle with instead. It’s been a week, and there have been zero issues!

We Have Play Time Before Reading– This was the biggest surprise to me. Becca recommended setting a timer for 10-15 minutes and playing with the kids in their rooms before reading to them. She emphasized letting the kids decide what to do during this time. She said it would give them the time with me that they’d been craving without me needing to lay with them for an hour.

We Now Have As Little Light As Possible– My big kids are scared of the dark, but I think they were sleeping with too much light. We let them keep the light on in the hall bathroom instead of the hallway and that dimmed the light considerably.

We Got Rid of the Crib– I was determined to keep N in the crib as long as possible, but Becca told me that it wasn’t really worth it if she could climb out of it like it was a bed. I gave up and got her this toddler bed off of Craigslist.

Our New Bedtime Routine: Without bath, this should ideally be no longer than 30 minutes.

6:30 Bathtime– every other night- Becca recommends using epsom salts like these in the bath. They contain magnesium which is best absorbed through the skin and helps calm the central nervous system and may improve sleep.

7:00 Bedtime Responsibilities– Wash face on non-bath nights to encourage sleep associations, Brush teeth, Put on pajamas, Pick out clothes for school tomorrow

7:05 Playtime together in their rooms-Let them get their energy out and do what THEY want to do.

7:20 Read a book or two

7:30 Goodnight– Put on meditation, (my kids love Insight Timer), hugs, kisses and we leave the room

Other Important Things to Remember:

1. Before Making Changes, Write Down Your Expectations for Kid Sleep– It’s important that you’re clear on what your expectations are and that you and your spouse are on the same page.
2. Kids Don’t Sleep Well When Overtired– Avoid skipping naps and start bedtime before kids get a second wind.
3. Keep Rooms As Quiet and Dark as Possible– White noise and nightlights are okay, just not too loud or too bright. I just bought Baby N this one from Amazon.
4. Have Only Two Stuffed Animals or Lovies in the Bed– Once kids are old enough, after age 1, they often love having friends in their beds with them. If you limit it to two, you’ll save yourself some headaches and your kids some anxiety from having to keep track of more.
5. Make Picture Chart to Clearly Explain Bedtime Expectations- Baby N did well with my verbal explanation, but some kids need a visual to connect. Draw pictures of what they need to do and then have them model this. They can even role play and be the mom or dad helping their stuffed animals get ready for bed.
6. Come Up With a Phrase for Bedtime– This phrase will trigger your kids’ brains to get ready for sleep. It can be as simple as: It’s Bedtime! Just be sure to BE CONSISTENT.

We started following these tips consistently last Monday. Almost immediately, our big kids started going to bed on their own and only came into our room one night, during a thunderstorm. Baby N is going to sleep in her big girl bed with no pacifier and staying put all night. It seriously feels like a miracle! My husband and I have time together before we pass out on the couch, and I’m not getting kicked in the face every night anymore! Try these tips tonight and please let me know how it goes in the comments below. I really believe everyone parent could benefit from these tips.

Good Luck and Get Some Rest!

♥ Erin

My husband and I have been taking a week-long, kid-free couples trip every October for the past five years. This week we’re in Punta Cana, but for me, we could be anywhere because, (did I mention this trip was kid-free) hey, no kids!! I love my kids dearly, but once a year it’s ok to take a break and just be adults for a week. Here are some scenes from my life last week to help explain to you why I need (and goddamn deserve) a vacation, before I become a raging alcoholic:

1. My two year old started climbing out of her crib- She climbs out for every nap time, at bedtime and every night around 2:30 AM.

2.  I watched more than 30 episodes of Sofia the First and the songs from the show are permanently jammed into my think box. (Yes, my kid watches too much TV. Judge away.)

3. While I was cleaning the toddler’s room, the big kids made “healthy” smoothies of fruit snacks, tomatoes, nutella and bananas and proudly brought them upstairs for me to taste. Spoiler alert: They tasted chunky.

4. The dog ate some herbs from the garden and was puking everywhere. Fennel is not a dog food, Biscuit!

5. My five year old has developed some serious attitude since starting kindergarten. Last week she actually told me to, “Try to keep up, Mom!” when I was not understanding the 35 minute, rambling story she was telling me.

6. My in-laws and I took the kids to the VA State Fair. ‘Nuff said, Am I right, Ladies? Though I did get to have a gyro and some funnel cake.

7. My seven year old still has tantrums, almost. every. damn. day! These usually happen after school, or when he is hungry, or when he is tired, or when he isn’t getting what he wants, or when he wants something new after already getting something he wanted, or when he can’t get his shoes on, or, or, or, AAAAHHHH!

8. Now that my toddler climbs out of her bed, we have three kids in our bed every night, and they all want to snuggle with mom. How did I get so lucky?! I know I’ll probably miss this someday, but damn, not today!

9. Every morning, my husband and I have to drag our kids, and ourselves, out of bed to get the big kids on the bus by 7:05. My husband is the only morning person in the house. Needless to say, it’s a total shit show.

10. My baby just turned 2 1/2 and I’m in a glass case of emotion!! I’m simultaneously feeling depressed about the fact that she’s no longer a baby and terrified because I remember the switch that was flipped when my other two reached that age. So many tantrums!

VACATION!!!!!!!!

So, yeah, it’s vacation time, and I’m not going to feel guilty about that. My kids get to spend the week with my in-laws who take great care of them, take them fun places and spoil them rotten, and my husband and I can rest, connect and come back ready to conquer the sugar and junk food detox the kids will surely need!

♥ Erin

          We’ve been managing(ish) the school morning craziness for just over three weeks now and, let me tell you, the struggle is real. This is especially true for our kindergartner who sleeps like the dead and eats almost as slowly. I’ve been trying out some new things to help us all get through the morning and get my kids onto the school bus on time. Number five, in particular, has been a major time-saver. Check them out below:

1. We have the kids lay out all of their clothes before bed each night, shoes too! They waste a lot of time deciding on shoes and then, of course, searching for those shoes that they just have to wear.
2. We put the kids resource schedule on the fridge. Maybe by mid-year I’ll remember who has library and PE on which days, but not today. Until then, this visual will remind me who needs tennis shoes, books, etc. each day.
3. The kids and I worked together to create the responsibilities chart below. They earn one star in the morning and one in the afternoon if they complete all of their morning and afternoon responsibilities. They can use these stars to earn rewards. Two stars will get them a lot less than twenty stars, but they will have the choice between instant gratification or saving to earn something larger.  They only earn the stars when I don’t have to remind them of what they need to do.
4. My kids choose and pack their school snacks when they get home from school each day. They get off the bus ravenous so, while they’re picking out a snack to eat at home, I have them choose another one for school the next day and pack it in their bags.
5. I created a simple poster where the kids can pick their breakfast and lunch choices the night before. I know this sounds a bit like I’m running a restaurant, but we wasted so much time every morning asking the kids what they wanted for breakfast and in their lunches. When you only have 45 minutes to get everything done in the morning, every minute you save is a big deal. My kindergartner isn’t reading yet, so I also drew pictures of about five different choices for each meal. Before we go up to bed each night, the kids make their choices by adding their initials in pencil next to the items they’d like. This is one of their daily responsibilities. This has been a game-changer!! My husband or I can get up a few minutes before the kids to get meals made, and we don’t have to listen to tantrums about how we didn’t make what they wanted. There is a lot less yelling in our house these days.

These tips give my kids the power of choice, but the choices are all things that my husband and I can live with because we were the ones that set them up. I like that my kids are learning to be more responsible through this and to see that their actions have consequences.

Good luck with the morning hustle! As the school year goes on, it does get better. Until it does, keep on keeping on, my exhausted friends!

♥ Erin

I had my birthday over the weekend. Yes, now I’ve had 37 birthdays, (In a row? Sorry, if you’ve ever seen Clerks you know why I just couldn’t resist. This is my favorite thing about turning 37!) I took my kids to Ohio to visit my mom. I had a really great visit with her, and I even got to go out for a birthday dinner with some great, old friends. I know that I truly am blessed, but during my seven hour drive home, alone with my three children, I couldn’t help but think about how different birthdays are nowadays, compared to my kid-free birthdays of the past. I am a big nerd, so let me spell it out for you in true nerd fashion, with a beautiful table:

Carefree Birthdays      vs.       Birthdays with Kids

Though it can feel hilariously horrible at times how much our birthdays have changed, there was still plenty to love about this birthday. My kindergartener was obsessed with planning a surprise party for me. She was so excited and pleased with herself after she decorated my birthday chair and made me birthday posters. My son bought me a blue velvet pumpkin because he knows how much I love the color blue. How can I not love that? We might not get the birthday of our childhood dreams, and it’s definitely not all about us anymore, but the love is still there in spades. Reach out in the comments and let me know how much your birthday has changed since having kids.

♥ Erin

On the afternoon of the very first day of school, my kids’ beloved bus driver passed away suddenly. He dropped them off earlier that day, and then, just over an hour later, he was gone. I found myself struggling with grief for this man who was so kind and patient with our kids, who I’d only just spoken to, who was younger than my parents. What was I going to say to my kids? I wanted to be as honest with them as I could, but not traumatize them. This was the first time either of us had lost someone they’d known well, someone who they saw almost daily.

When the school sent out an email to let us know of his passing, they were thoughtful and kind enough to include information from Full Circle Grief Center on how to talk to our kids about death. This info really helped me to put my thoughts into words and to know what to look out for. I thought I’d share what I learned here.

1. Be Honest and Use Clear Language- Use the words dying or dead, instead of confusing terms like, He passed away, We lost him, etc.
2. Encourage Them To Ask Questions- Answer as honestly and clearly as you can. I gently asked my son if he had questions several times throughout the course of the day before he opened up.
3. Share Your Feelings- I usually try not to cry in front of my kids, but they recommend letting your kids see that you’re sad and not trying to hide your tears. It can make them feel less alone when they know you’re hurting too.
4. All Feelings Should Be Welcomed- Kids may feel anger, fear, or even seem like they feel nothing at all, instead of feeling grief. They may be feeling multiple feelings at once or experience different feelings as time passes. Let them know that it’s ok to express whatever feelings they’re having, good or bad.
5. Be Patient and Observant- Give your child time to process the news. They may want to talk, but it may take them hours or days to feel ready to put their feelings into words. My son is not very verbal about his feelings, but I noticed that he’d been acting oddly all day, kind of goofy, jumpy, etc. I finally just told him to come sit on my lap and gently asked him what was going on and that’s when he opened up and started to ask questions.
6. Talk To Them About Safety- Death, especially a sudden death like this one, can make kids feel unsafe. That’s one of the things my son said to me. He had lots of questions about bad guys and even guns. It’s important to remind kids of everything in their lives that is keeping them safe: loving parents, a house with locks, seat belts, etc.
7. Create A Way to Honor The Person Who Died-Brainstorm with your kids to find a special way to remember the person you’ve lost. My kids decided to plant some seeds in our garden and rename our garden gnome after their bus driver.

The sudden death of this special man has shaken us all this week. The silver lining (Sometimes you have to look really hard.) is that it’s also taught us to remember that life is fragile and precious. We all need to remember how much we love each other every day and act accordingly. This had been said many times before, but please hug your family close tonight, call your grandmother, send a text to your  step-brother, pass on the loving legacy of this man taken from the world too soon. Thank you.

Erin

I posted last week about sitting down with my kids to brainstorm healthy lunch and snack ideas for back to school. I’ve had trouble in the past with packing lunches that come back basically untouched, and snacks that are just basic carbs like goldfish or pirate’s booty with no real nutritional value of any kind. This year I wanted the kids to have healthier choices, while still giving them a say in what they eat. I was pleasantly surprised by what they came up with.

Disclaimer: A lot of simple lunch ideas like chicken nuggets. grilled cheese, sandwiches, pizza, basically any stereotypical kid food has been left out of this list because B doesn’t like them, and I’m not up for making two separate lunch plans.

Picture of butterfly snack, trail mix, dates and olives, chia pouch and eggs and tomatoes goes here

Snack Ideas

Clockwise from top left: Blackberry Chia Pouch, Seaweed Snacks, Pirate’s Booty and Banana Chip Butterfly, Black Olives and Dates and Homemade Trail Mix

1. 1. Butterfly Grapes and Goldfish-This was a special first day of school snack. I don’t usually do this Pinterest shit, but the kids had a a lot of fun decorating their clothes pins.
   2. Nut-free Trail Mix-Sesame sticks, Banana chips, Raisins, Pretzels and Dried raspberries
   3. Sliced Nectarines or Peaches
   4. Seaweed Snacks
   5. Hummus single packs with Carrots, Cucumbers or Pretzels-These packs are the perfect size for kids.
   6. Hard-boiled Eggs and Cherry tomatoes
   7. Olives and Dates-I never would of thought of this combo, but I found the idea here. Ben loves both of these things, and who doesn’t like a sweet/salty combo that also has healthy fats and vitamins instead of empty calories?
   8. Veggies and Dip-Check out these great containers for dips here.
   9. Banana Bread Energy Balls-Bananas, dates, flour, oats and chocolate chips are the only ingredients you need to make these tasty guys. Throw in your favorite protein powder to make these even more filling. I like this one.
   10. Cheese, Apple and Cherry Tomato Skewers-Remember to cut off the sharp edges
   11. Chia or Yogurt pouches-I personally love the Blackberry Bliss chia pouches and they have 2 g. of protein and 4 g. of fiber in each pouch. Score!
   12. Turkey jerky and Fruit snacks or Fruit leather

http://http://

Instead of packing snacks in sandwich bags, reduce your carbon footprint with these container ideas. I really wanted something like these, but when I couldn’t find them I got these and they’re great!

Lunch Ideas

From left to right: Marinated Chicken Strips, Apple, Cheese and Tomato skewers and Turkey Rollups

1. Turkey roll-ups-My kids have an aversion to bread, apparently. In the past, I’d send them in with a sandwich and they’d come back with the bread untouched. To cut our food waste, I decided to make these rollups instead. I lay them flat and spread mayo or mustard and then roll them into cigar shapes.
2. Cheese roll-ups-V loved the sound of these. You spread cream cheese on a whole wheat tortilla and add a piece of cheese and then roll it up. I’m going to try to add thinly sliced cucumber and tomato and hope she doesn’t notice. 😉
3. Cheese, apple and cherry tomato skewers-This is a snack item that works for lunch too.
4. Brown rice and black beans-This was B’s go-to lunch last year. We kept it nice and hot for him in his thermos. Add some salsa for extra flavor.
5. Grilled and marinated chicken strips-We bought a package of pre-cooked strips from Kroger and marinated them overnight in oil and vinegar. B gobbled them up, and asked to have them for lunch again the next day.
6. Bow-tie pasta salad-Add chick peas and pine nuts to make this more filling and any veggies your child will eat to make it vitamin-packed. We found the recipe here, along with a lot of our other lunch ideas.

Along with these main courses, I add one serving of fruit, one fun carb like goldfish or pretzels, and a carton of milk for V.

Once we made the list, I had the kids each pick two snacks choices and two lunches choices for the week. This way they won’t have to eat the same thing every day, but I know what I should have on hand instead of buying all of the things on the list.

For their lunches, we’ve been using these containers for the past two years and they’ve really held up!

I hope you can use some of these ideas to prepare your own healthy snacks and lunches this school year! Let me know your best snack and lunch ideas in the comments. Happy eating!

🙂 Erin

My big kids are back at school. Not one to stay idle, I’ve been distracting myself by attempting to get Baby N potty trained. We’ve been at it for a few months now, sort of lackadaisically, but now it’s time to get serious. No more diapers or pull-ups, with the exception of nap and bedtimes because I like sleeping and don’t have a desire to add to my already immense laundry mountain.

It amazes me that every time I’ve tried to help N with something new like eating solids, learning shapes/colors, potty training, my mom brain completely forgets what I did with my other kids. You’d think by now I’d have this potty training thing down, having done it twice before, but I got nothing. While I can’t give you my tried and true, fool-proof potty training tips, because I have none, I can share with you what not to do.

I’ve already done this twice, and yet…

My Potty Training Must NOT Dos

1. DO NOT let your child sit on the couch without laying down several towels. Urine-scented couches are not classy! If you have plastic coverings for your furniture, this is the time to break it out.

2. DO NOT leave the house without a dozen pairs of clean underwear or you’ll find yourself wrapping your child up in a old 5T t-shirt, turned makeshift diaper.

3. DO NOT give your child a large bottle full of water before you get in the car for a 45 minute drive. Oh, that’s common sense, you say? Well, I don’t think I asked for your opinion!

4. DO NOT leave your potty training child alone in their room with the door closed. There is a chance they will need to poop. If they need to poop, they won’t be able to open their door, and, when they can’t open their door, they will use that giant plastic school bus full of legos as a toilet. (“Wow, Erin,” you’re thinking, “that’s pretty specific.” Nope, this is a completely hypothetical situation, of course. Yep, uh-huh.)

5. DO NOT give your child chocolate as a reward for pooping in the potty. You will have to guess which smudges are chocolate and which are poop, and you will most likely be wrong.

If you can avoid my, uh, I mean, these potty training pitfalls, you’ll be fine! Despite my mistakes, Baby N will be potty-trained soon, or at least by the time she starts kindergarten!

🙂 Erin